hear myself think, my head was spinning. “Kari” I whispered, unable to believe that there’s a possibility she came back. 

Dear Mariana,

It’s been a while since we’ve last spoke to each other. I just wanted to let you know that I am always with you, all of our memories together, all of the fun times we’ve had, those are the moments I cherished with you. But I have a question for you Mariana, why didn’t you save me? Wasn’t I your best friend? Why did you betray me?

                             Your loyal friend, Kari                                                                      

After reading the letter, tears start to stream down my face. “You disappeared under a bright light!” “I tried to save you!” “It’s not my fault Kari!!!” Then I crumble the letter and throw it across the hallway. “Why did she say I am always with you?” I think to myself… then after a few seconds, I realized she was talking about her necklace. All of a sudden, the diamond necklace started to glow so bright, it started to burn. I gasp, clutching at the diamond, it stopped burning, I rubbed the burned spot on my neck. I tried to unclasp the necklace, but the metal clasp was locked. 

Thump, thump, thump, I hear footsteps climbing down the fourth floor stairs to the third floor hallway. My voice trembles as I say “Hello? Is anyone there?” As I walk to the end of the hallway, my head starts spinning again, wondering what is happening, why Kari’s diamond necklace started to burn, why her necklace locked in place, I’m so scared right now, I can’t even breathe. As I reach the end of the hallway, I look up the fourth floor stairs, my eyes meet Kari’s, and her eyes pierce through me. 

Kari starts yelling at me, “Why didn’t you rescue me, Mariana?” “Aren’t we best friends?” “Why did you betray me?” “You disappeared under a bright light, Kari!” “I tried to save you!”  I yell back at her, I’m so angry she’s blaming me for what happened, when she knows it’s not my fault. 

“That’s not what happened! I wasn’t enveloped by a bright light!” Kari’s voice is so loud, the house starts to shake. There are tears streaming down her face, as she looks at me. There’s a long silence between us, and I suddenly remember what actually happened. 

The blind light that enveloped Kari was the sun as it shone between the trees. I couldn’t see her, but I heard her scream and shout, before she was silent. 

Realization flashes through my mind, I stumble backwards, Kari was kidnapped, I think to myself, My best friend was kidnapped in front of me and I couldn’t even save her. “Kari, I’m so sorry”, my voice trembles,  then she starts crying, the diamond necklace burns again. “Kari, Why are you doing this to me!” I shriek. 

“You betrayed me Mariana!!”                                                                                                                     

Then the house starts to shake again. I rush downstairs, my heart is beating so fast, I can barely breathe, I’m so afraid of who my best friend has became; something isn’t right, I think to myself. As I grab my phone, I think about calling the police, I dial the phone number and press call, suddenly my phone stops ringing and powers off. “Kari” I whisper, as my hands start to tremble. 

I’m so scared right now, I need to escape this house. I rush down the stairs to the first floor, and try to unlock the door, but it’s locked. “No!!!” I start to cry. My back is against the door in fear as Kari comes down the stairs and approaches me. I can’t escape Kari now. I can barely breathe, I start to tremble, as she raises her hand towards me, “You said I was enveloped by a bright light, Mariana. Now it’s time for you to meet that same fate.” 

3 years later…

As I look out the window, I remember my sister. My only sister, Mariana. I miss the fun times we’ve had with each other, I miss how she always made me happy. My job as an investigator has been difficult, there’s been many hard cases I’ve gone through, but this case is incomplete. It’s

time for me to find out the true story of what actually happened to my sister. 

Name: Kari Meadowbrook

Founder of Seven Diamonds Jewelry Store.

Address: 4501 Melody Drive, Metairie, Louisiana

Seven Diamonds Jewelry Store Address: 953 Athania Street, Metairie, Louisiana

I always knew Kari loved jewelry, I remember when she taught Mariana how to make different types of jewelry. A single tear streams down my face as memories of her return. After writing the addresses, I close the computer, grab my notebook and car keys, as I walk towards the door. 

I drove to Kari’s house, since her store was closed for the evening. I’ll make a visit there tomorrow, and continue some further research. As I’m about to knock on the door, my phone

rings. It’s my friend Dalia and I answer the phone. “Hi Adalyn!” “Hi Dalia, I’m working right now, can I call you back later?” “Sure, bye!” 

I knocked on the door three times and no one answered. I walk back to my car and drive back home, I’ll see her at her jewelry store tomorrow.

Kari: I pull back the curtain of my window and watch as she walks back to her car.  She looks familiar, I think I know her…

“The 22’ Magenta Jewel Necklace?” I ask. “Yes” she replies back. I place the necklace in a magenta bag with glitter traced in patterns along the sides and hand it to her. I smile as her face lights up with joy at the sight of it. “Thank you!” she responds and I wave at her as she exits the store. 

I hear the bell chime as the door opens, another customer walks in. Then I realize she’s not a customer. She has straight black hair pulled back in a pony tail. She’s heading towards the front desk … towards me. I immediately grab my phone and head out the back door, running to my car. I know who she is, she’s the person who came to my house last week. “Kari!!!” she yells. “You can’t run from your past forever!” she says as she runs after me. “Go away!!!” I says. I’m so angry right now, the lights start to flicker. I hear a bell chime and look towards the entrance.

Kari walks past me towards the front desk, her eyes pierce through me. I haven’t gained any information that will help me solve this case, and I’m afraid I never will. 

My phone has 5 voicemail messages from Dalia. It’s been three days since she last called me and I haven’t got the chance to call her back. “Hi Adalyn!!!” “Hi Dalia!!!” “How’s the case so far?” she asks. “I haven’t collected any information.” There’s a long silence on the call… “Dalia?” “What’s Kari’s last name?” she asks. “Meadowbrook” “That last name sounds familiar.” she says. My head starts to spin, my hand starts to tremble, and I almost drop my phone. “I’m coming to your house, we’ll start investigating.” If Dalia is related to Kari, then the whole case will go in a different direction. Dalia’s last name is Meadow, it’s similar to Kari’s. I’ve never wondered if Kari was related to Dalia. I knock on the door. Dalia opens it and she starts crying.“Adalyn, I found…” she says and continues crying. “Let’s solve this case.” I say and walk with her into the living room.

Letters are scattered on the table. There’s also vibrant pieces of jewelry. 

I walk to the table and read one of the postcards.

From: Caley Meadowbrook 

November 29, 1858 

Since the 1800s, every postcard was signed with Meadowbrook as the last name, for the past two decades. Then in the 1970s, the last name changed to Meadow. I can’t believe this is happening. I

can’t believe Kari is possibly related to my best friend, Dalia. “I found the collection in the basement. It was in a jewelry box.” Dalia says. “I never knew, I never thought she could be related to me…” she says.There’s another long silence. “Dalia, Kari is your cousin.” I say. Tears stream down Dalia’s face. She never knew she had a cousin, she never knew Kari was her cousin. “I can’t believe she’s my cousin.” she says. “Dalia! Since Kari’s your cousin, it’ll make it easier for her to tell you more information about what really happened that day… the day my sister…” I start crying and Dalia says. “I’ll talk to Kari. We’ll solve this case.” 

“Did Kari tell you anything?” I ask. “No”. “Did you tell her you were her cousin?” I ask. “No”, she says. “Why didn’t you tell her?” I ask. “If I told Kari I was her cousin, she won’t tell me the information. It’s better if she doesn’t know.” “So you just want to keep it a secret from her?! Kari deserves to know you’re her cousin.” I say. Dalia’s hands start to tremble as tears stream down her face. “I’m trying to help you solve this case!” “Why won’t you tell Kari?!” now I’m screaming. “Why do you even care anyways?! She’s the reason Mariana isn’t here.” My sister, Mariana. Mariana, with a smile as bright as the North Star. Mariana, with a laugh so cheerful, it could light up the world. “Don’t mention my sister!!!!” At that moment, I can tell Dalia immediately regrets what she said. She says sorry so many times until my head starts to spin. Tears stream down my face as I quickly turn around and run towards the door.  My best friend, Dalia, has been waiting for a chance to say this. To mention the past and bring back those memories of her. The memories I’ve tried so hard to escape.  “Adalyn, I’m so sorry. Wait!!” she yells as I slam the door. I run, I run so fast, I can only focus on getting to my car and driving away, away from this place, away from everything. I need to travel. I drive so fast, it feels as if the world becomes a blur. I arrive back home and my nostalgia returns; I walk towards Mariana’s room. The atmosphere in her room is so peaceful, the rays of sunlight shine in her room, and I

imagine hearing her melodic voice again. I walk over to her keepsake treasure box, I’ve been unable to unlock it because I never found the key. Then I suddenly remember the last time I went to Kari’s Jewelry store, there was a purple key on the wall with the other keys Kari had with the name Mariana engraved on it. I immediately ran back to my car and drove to her Jewelry store to retrieve it. 

I open the door and say “Kari, I know you have Mariana’s key!!” “What key?” says Kari.

“It’s purple and it has her name on it.” I tell her as I approach her.

Then, a customer walks in and asks Kari a question about her order. While Kari’s distracted, I quickly grab the purple key off the wall and run back to my car. I return back to Mariana’s room once I arrive home and unlock the keepsake treasure box.

There’s a diary inside, I open it, butterflies and stars fly around me, I hear Kari’s voice, then I hear Mariana, suddenly everything goes dark. 

I’m at a high school, wait, it’s East Bridge High School.  How am I here? I’m standing on the sidewalk as a large crowd of students walk past me. A younger version of Kari is on the hill, she’s talking with Mariana and another girl who looks very familiar… that’s me! I was 16 years old at the time and Mariana was 15, the same age as Kari. Kari looks tense, and doesn’t seem like herself. It looks like she’s hiding something and I have to know what it is.

Oh, now I remember. Jason Shadow, how could anyone forget about him…

Jason had darkish-brown hair and dark brown eyes. His eyes were so deep you could get lost in his gaze. His voice was so calming, it could lure you to sleep. He walked up the hill towards us as the buses began to arrive. 291 was the bus where it happened. Once I saw the bus, I was instantly transported inside it.

He’s next to me, my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in and smell sandalwood and pine trees. It smells wonderful. His dark brown hair trails down to his jaw. Sideburns, I’ve never seen him with sideburns. Now he looks different, mysterious, handsome. He strokes my hair as I start to fall asleep. “Adalyn” he says, his dreamy voice awakens me from my slumber. “Jason” I say, his eyes shine in the sunlight. “I love you.” he says. “I love you too, always and forever.” I say back. 

My heart starts to ache. I remember all of the memories. And then the whole story connects, it all starts to make sense. I’m instantly transported back to the present. I put Mariana’s diary inside the keepsake treasure box and lock it. Kari was jealous of me because I was with Jason Shadow. She always wanted him to be with her. She went after my sister to get revenge, Mariana, her best friend. She wanted to hurt me by taking my sister away from me all because of her jealousy. Kari was the hidden enemy the entire time. This happened because of my mistake, if I was never with Jason Shadow, this would never happen. My sister would be here. I dial Dalia’s number. “Dalia, I figured it out. I finally solved the case!!!” 10 seconds later… “Dalia… are you there?” “Hi Adalyn, I’m having a get-together at my house tomorrow at 2:00 pm. Are you able to come?” “Sure, I’ll see you tomorrow!” “See you!” 

 I hear the doorbell ring and walk to the door. Once I open the door, the person I see knocks the wind out of me. It’s Jason. He’s wearing a tuxedo and a dark blue coat that looks familiar. Tears start to stream down my face. It’s the same coat he wore to our first dance; the same coat he draped over my shoulders when I was cold. I feel his hands wipe away my tears. He brushes my hair away from my face and I smile. “Adalyn, are you okay?” he asks. A wave of concern flashes across his face. “Now I am.” I say as I ruffle his hair. He smiles at me and blushes. “Do you want

to… can we…” “Yes!” I say. He takes me to his car and opens the door for me. “Thanks” I say. “No problem.” He says back. His eyes sparkle as they shine in the sunlight. 

We arrive at the dance venue. Surprisingly, we’re early. Classical music is being played. As I walk out towards the center, a small part of me feels hesitant. “I don’t think I can dance.” I say… “Of course you can, you danced all the time in the hallways at school.” he says. “You still have that spark, you still have that adventurous spirit, don’t let anyone take it away.” he says as he slowly spins me around. “I love dancing, but after Mariana… I stopped, I felt like a part of me was missing.” “Mariana would want you to be happy,” he says. Then, I smile. My sister would want me to be happy, and as memories of her dancing appear in my mind, I feel as if she’s with me right now. People start to arrive. Jason and I danced the night away. I felt as if I was floating on a cloud when I spun around as he twirled me back towards him. Then I suddenly felt his hands wrap around me as he picked me up. He spins me around and around, I lift my arms as I close my eyes, and for a second I felt like I could fly. My laughter reverberates through the room. Jason’s eyes connect with mine and he smiles. He’s looking at me like I’m the greatest girl in the world. I was tired after a few hours of dancing… my head rested against Jason’s shoulder during the slow dance.  

After the dance… 11:35 pm:

I stroke his hair, weaving my fingers between the silky strands. His dark brow n hair gleams in the streetlight. “Jason?” my voice cracks as tears start to form. His face is pale, when I look at his hands, I notice they’re bleeding. Spontaneously, I tear my scarf apart and wrap both of this hands. I look at him and wonder, who would ever hurt him. Who would ever hurt my Jason?

“Adalyn?” I hear him say my name and I can barely breathe. “Yes, it’s me, Adalyn, I’m here.” I say as I hold his hand. “I’m here with you.”

Jason’s consciousness returns and he slowly stands up as I help him walk to his car. “Adalyn, it’s Kari…” he says. “Kari Meadowbrook?” I tentatively ask. “Yes, she came back, and…and…” Jason tries to remember what happened, but says he can’t recall. Kari must’ve erased his memory. “It’s ok.” I tell him, “I’m just so glad you’re ok.”

We arrived at my house. Jason’s sleeping on the couch, and I’m preparing dinner until I hear a melodic tune, it sounds peaceful, entrancing. Jason suddenly gets up, walks down the stairs and to the door. The tune becomes louder and louder until it turns into a screeching sound. It’s probably Kari, with her magical powers, she’s hypnotizing him… “Jason, come back!!!” I yell. I run down the stairs and try to pull him away. “Stop, Adalyn!” he yells and pushes me. I tumble backwards, and feel a sharp pain go through my arm. Jason opens the door and Kari appears. “Goodbye, Adalyn”, she says, before she flashes a light beam towards me. And everything goes black.

Two weeks later…

I’ve been unconscious for two weeks. I look around and see that I’m in my house. Memories of what happened two weeks ago replay in my mind. I’m so dizzy I can’t even stand up. I’m still in shock with what happened, Jason, my own Jason hypnotized under Kari’s devious spell. Then, I suddenly remember what he did to me, his strong arms wrapped around my neck as tight as a snake. I remember what happened nine years ago. I only have one thing left to do, one thing left to get my revenge. It’s time. It’s finally time. I go to my room, open the closet, and pick out a

black jumpsuit.  It’s glimmering sheen shines in the light. I put it on, its tight material feels like silk against my skin. Then, I walk into the bathroom, about to get ready to cut my hair, until I notice myself. I trace my hands over the jumpsuit, admiring how it accentuates my features. The black jumpsuit makes me look fearless, giving me a new aura. I grab a pair of scissors and cut my hair, watching as the long black strands fall to the floor. I cut from the back towards the front, leaving me with an uneven haircut. As I look at myself, my hair is jagged. Some strands are sharper and longer than other strands. Somehow, I look stronger than I was before. Then, I use the sharp blade of the scissors to quickly slice a cut on my right cheekbone. I immediately feel pain, and bend over, clutching both sides of the counter to keep myself from crying. I stand tall, and look at myself in the mirror, with my jagged haircut and cut that slowly starts to bleed. I am strong. I am dangerous. I am unstoppable. 

*This passage includes Stockhold Syndrome* 

*A few weeks later*

“Where’s my sister?!” I ask Jason as he and I go downstairs into the basement. 

“Adalyn?”... I hear a faint voice call my name from the locked room to my left. I count how many locks there are, 4…5…, there’s eight locks on the door. I gasp. 

“Open the damn door!” I yell at him, “I’m trying to!” he yells back. 

His hands tremble as he opens each lock quickly. As soon as he unlocks the last lock, the person who looks back at me takes my breath away. 

I see a small figure sitting at a desk drawing with several paints and paintbrushes surrounding her. Her hair grew longer over the years, turning into bouncy, bountiful shiny brown curls. Her skin is surprisingly glowing. 

I take in the surroundings, there’s a diamond chandelier on the ceiling, displaying shards of light everywhere. A small bed to the left, with lilac bedsheets and magenta pillows, and a large bookshelf to the right. 

I step inside the room, that surprisingly looks… “luxurious”. My voice cracks as I say her name, “Mariana?” She turns around and looks at me, “Adalyn? Is that you?” She remains seated in her chair, grounded in shock as she looks at me. I start to walk towards her, “I’m here, it’s me, your sister” Tears form in my eyes as my fingers graze the outline of her face. She takes my hand and asks, “Where were you, this whole time?” she looks at me with a wave of disbelief and pain on her face. My voice cracks again as I say, “I was looking for you, Mariana, this whole time you were gone, I never stopped looking for you” “I’m here, I’m finally here” I say. As I reach to grab her hand, I notice a ring on her hand. It’s a beautiful rose gold diamond ring, looks expensive, and I’ve never seen her wear it before. 

“I’m getting married” she says. The room is spinning, my lungs are constricting, I’m imagining this, this isn’t happening. 

“To who?” I ask. She looks at me with tears in her eyes, “Jason”. My eyes immediately dart back to Jason standing in the doorway. “Why…. the…. hell….would …..you….get…..married……to someone who’s keeping you captive?!” I ask her in shock. “Adalyn, he’s not that bad, look how kindly he’s treated me, he’s given me everything I could’ve ever asked for.” She looks at me with such an empathetic expression on her face that I’m actually beginning to wonder that the years she’s spent in here has caused her to think so irrationally. “Adalyn, please look at me!” she says. I can’t look at her, I can’t.

“Where’s Kari?” I ask her, “Have you forgiven her for what she did to you?” I ask. “I don’t know where Kari is, Jason has been with me this whole time.” she says. 

I clear my throat and begin to speak slowly to Mariana. “Mariana, Kari shot a bright light at you with her magical powers, and then you were unconscious for a week.” I say with tears in my eyes. “You lost your memory and Kari kidnapped you.” the anger in my voice erupting like a volcano, “This is the place where you’ve been held captive.” “YOU are HIS captor!!!” I yell at her. 

All this time, my sister has been held captive by Jason and she started to fall in love with him. Why, just why is this happening?

But since she lost her memory, what’s even the point of arguing with her when she won’t see how wrong everything is? 

“I love Jason, Adalyn, and you have to understand that there’s nothing you can do about that. I’m sorry, I know you once did, but the wedding is in two weeks.”

She won’t listen to me, she’s just too stubborn. 

“Honestly, Adalyn, I’m happy, I’m with Jason now, I have a beautiful bedroom, and everything I’ve ever wanted.”

I can’t anymore, I just can’t listen to her talk about it anymore.

She takes my hand in her hand, “I want you to be my maid of honor, please”. “Mariana, I need to….talk to Jason, I’ll be right back.” “Wait,” she says, “will you be my maid of honor?” she looks at me with such a hopeful expression, it’s so hard not to say yes. “You know I’ll always be there for you” I say as I walk out the door, climb upstairs and into the living room where Jason is making coffee. 

“So, you sexually assualt me at sixteen years old, and next thing you know, you’re marrying my sister in two weeks.” “My sister, who you held captive for Kari.” I say, with anger rising in my voice. “Anything else I need to know?” 

His back is turned to me, he’s mixing ¼  creme into his coffee, along with a teaspoon of milk. “I never wanted to do this, Adalyn, and I’m sorry.” He walks past me to the cabinet to grab another mug, “do you want coffee?” he asks. 

“No, I don’t!!” I think I should’ve said yes, because right now I’m so tired, I can’t even stay awake. I rub my eyes as I sit at the table. He looks at me with a smirk on his face, “Caramel latte?” he asks, “looks like you need one.” I blush, surprised he remembers my favorite coffee. “Yeah, thanks.” I say. 

“So why did you do this, Jason?” “Why did you hold my sister captive for Kari?” “Answer my question!!” I yell. He looks at me while grinning, “Which question, why I did this, or why I held her captive, because I didn’t have a choice in either of them”. 

“You’re not being specific, just tell me!!” I yell. 

“My brother kidnapped Kari, ok.” he says, “Axel Shadow, he’s five years older than me. He was madly in love with her, and every day he would just dream of being with her. I never knew he kidnapped her, and I was so shocked. One day, she was able to escape, she made a deal with me, she said she wouldn’t report my brother for abduction, he wouldn’t go to jail, if I could go along with the plan and hide Mariana.” 

“It was a good deal, my brother wouldn’t go to jail and Kari would get what she wanted. Mariana was already unconscious. Kari was so hurt and traumatized from her experience. And I felt sympathetic towards Kari. I took care of Mariana, I bought her things, I talked to her. I gave her everything, all of it was to cover up for my brother and then I fell in love with her.” 

“She never told me why she kidnapped her in the first place.” “I asked her and she said, “some secrets are meant to be kept secret”. 

“So you just followed along with her plan?! That she wouldn’t report your brother for abduction just so you could hold my sister captive?!” I ask.

“I didn’t question it, it was a good deal anyways.” he says. 

I’m so upset, furious that all of this was related to him, his own secret, my sister taken away from me because of this. In an instant, I raise my hand and slap him. “How dare you do this?!” He flinches back in pain, the imprint of my hand outlining a red frame on his face. “What was your plan?, to keep her captive forever?!” I ask. I’m barely able to breathe now.

“Here’s your coffee” he says in a faint voice as he pushes the mug towards me.

“Do you know why Kari kidnapped my sister in the first place?” 

“No, I don’t. And honestly Adalyn, I doubt we’ll ever know.”

I take another sip of the coffee, the sweet taste of caramel settles my thoughts as I look around the living room. 

I notice a picture on the wall, it shows Kari and Mariana making bracelets together. I remember taking that photo. I smile as I look at all of the other pictures of them having fun together on the wall. 

“Fooled you, you little bitch, yeah I touched you one the bus, but I never really cared about you, I was always in love with Mariana. I’M THE ONE who told Kari to use her magical powers to knock Mariana out. I’m the one who took care of MARIANA after Kari shot her with her magical powers. I’M THE ONE who told KARI if she did what I asked her to do and not tell on my brother for abduction, I would help her fund her jewelry store business, 7 Diamonds, help her achieve her dream of living in New York City as a successful businesswoman, and give her everything she ever wanted.”

Shock goes through my veins like electricity. I can’t breathe, I can’t think, I don’t understand what’s happening or what I’m hearing. This can’t be real. 

“It was a good deal, both sides got what they wanted” He says with a sly grin. “And just so you know, Bus Girl, you’re nothing, and always will be.” 

Then he kicks me, he kicked me so hard, I went flying across the room. My stomach, my stomach hurts so bad, I bend over in pain as I hold back my tears. Holding back my tears when he assaulted me nine years ago, holding back my tears when he wrapped his arm around my neck, holding back my tears when he was too strong to push back, holding back my tears when he kept on reaching, and reaching. 

“Adalyn? Are you okay?” my sister asks, as she stands in the living room. “What happened to my sister?!” she asks Jason. “Everything’s fine Mariana, how about you go back downstairs and finish your sunset painting?” he says. She starts walking towards the stairs, then she hesitates, and walks towards me. 

“Are you sure you’re okay Adalyn?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine” I reply back, in such a stern tone that she flinches back in surprise.  I’m done with this. The case is complete. Jason used his manipulation tactics to spin this whole situation into chaos and now my sister is getting married to him. I stand up and begin walking towards the stairs, taking each step slowly as I clutch my side. 

Adalyn: I see the look of regret on his face. “How could you do this?” he wonders. I look back, with a fierce gaze. I had to do this, I had to explain what happened. I don’t want to feel trapped forever. I want to fly away and finally be free. All of my traumatic memories will be told, and I will at last find peace. “You caused all of this.” 

35 minutes later…

Whoop! Whoop! The police cars pull into the parking lot. Their lights are so bright, they blind my vision momentarily. As the police officer approaches us, Jason immediately looks at me. “You can’t do this to me!” his voice cracks as he yells at me. “Oh, I already did” I reply back. He flinches as if my sarcasm wounded him, and I smile back. The police officer tells him to put his hands behind his back. I watch as he hesitates at first, until she gives him a stern look. She handcuffs him, but he’s still looking at me, with that distant look on his face. He’s inside the police car, but before she can close the door, he yells, “I said I’m SORRY!!” “Well, saying sorry

Adalyn’s story: age 16 - nine years ago

Maybe she won, she thinks she did,

Nonetheless though she doesn’t give a damn. 

What did I do? What the hell did I do? 

Am I actually a puppet to be used?

Am I allowed to gain justice? 

Or should I have remained silent?

Choose carefully.

I just want to be alone, ALONE.

I just want to enjoy being in the presence of only myself.

All I wanted was to be ALONE.

ALL I ever dreamed of was the peace of being by myself.

That’s all I ever wanted.

That’s all,

And regardless of what anyone says, 

I will never ever trust another person again.

I was fine by myself.

What’s the point,

When all they’re trying to do is use their invisible claws to scratch you

And make you bleed so much 

You can’t even feel yourself anymore. 

The main thing that’s wrong with our society today is everyone is trying to be someone they’re not. 

Always trying to mask their personality over another,

Always trying to pretend.

It never works out,

It just makes everything so much worse,

If people were truthful about who they really are,

There would be less pain in the world. 

Words tricked me, yes I was deceived.

I remember the hands as those words were said, yes I remember them,

Over and over and over again. 

Grabbing and grabbing, and grabbing.

Looking out the window, dreaming of an escape,

From those heavy, horrible hands that just keep on reaching and reaching, and reaching. 

And it was just TOO MUCH.

JUST TOO MUCH. 

I remember my fast heartbeat as he kept on reaching and stroking, and then in an instant.

He grabbed it.

And I will never,

For the live of me, understand why that had to happen to ME.

I was a TOY.

And there was NO TALKING on the bus, 

Just Touch, Grab, Repeat.

I never wanted any of it, I couldn’t breathe, with his arm wrapped so tightly around my neck. 

And I would push back, I WOULD TAKE MY ARM FROM HIM WHEN HE TRIED TO PUT IT AROUND HIS BACK. 

And that was so painful. 

And I said stop,

But he was too strong, and the arm was just too heavy,

Just too heavy,

I felt as if I was drowning. 

And okay, maybe I did get upset,

Because I was used,

But that doesn’t change the fact of what happened. 

Reaching and reaching, until I said stop, until I pushed back. 

My small figure leaning against the bus frame, holding back so many tears.

So many invisible tears, no one understands the pain.

And it just became too much.

To be USED like that, to be MANIPULATED like that,

Of course I would be upset.

And I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t even breathe, because it was too tight around my neck. 

All I wanted to do was breathe, I wanted to speak so bad it hurts.

My voice was diminished in that moment, my voice was taken away from me with that strong arm wrapped around my vocal chords. 

It hurt. And if I could’ve ran away in that moment, I would.

Except I was trapped, 

As if he owned me. 

And everytime he came, he would continue wrapping that strong arm around me with that look on his face. I don’t know how to describe it, but it was a strange look, it made him look dominant, strong, like he had power over me. Like there was no escape. Like he would always own me with that strong arm wrapped around me. From day one, he owned me. From day one, he made it his mission to trap me. And I would flinch back, and attempt for freedom, but the strong grip of his arm didn’t move, 

It just 

Became 

Tighter, it just became stronger. 

I was hurt by him, 

He owned me,

Every time,

I never wanted any of it,

And the only reason I was trapped,

Is because he was just too strong.

Every time I see that bus, I’m scared.

I stopped catching that bus because I have nightmares,

Of all the places he’s touched me.

Every time, I’m at that bus stop,

I fear for my life,

Because I know that if I catch that bus,

He’ll trap me again, 

And pursue his mission on owning me.

I’m scared to even be near him,

Hence why I sat in a different place.

Even seeing him gives me chills,

Because of what he did,

And where his hands were,

I never wanted it,

Let’s get that clear.

I always wanted to be FREE,

I never wanted him to own me. 

Stroking, then reaching down,

And then his hand went inside and —---

NO!! I wake up, I’m gasping for air, 

I’ve had many of these nightmares,

And they always result with me waking up.

Note from the author:

This story is dedicated to all the girls in the world who have been sexually assaulted. Know that you are powerful. You are strong, never stop dreaming. Regardless of what he told you, know that you deserve so much better. To all the girls who have experienced painful memories, remember that you are a Queen. Never let anyone make you feel insignificant. To all the girls who have doubted their self worth because of a boy, don’t ever stop shining, don’t ever stop standing up for what you believe in. Always tell an adult what you’ve been through and don’t be afraid. You weren’t weak when you didn’t say anything while he was touching you in places you didn’t want to be touched, you were BRAVE. You are a phoenix rising from the ashes. Never back down. And always fight for your justice.