The Undetected | Teen Ink

The Undetected

November 8, 2023
By NovemberRain_Ritings BRONZE, Tualatin, Oregon
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NovemberRain_Ritings BRONZE, Tualatin, Oregon
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Favorite Quote:
Matthew 6:34


Author's note:

This is a segment of a yet-to-be completed story. please let me know what you feel about this piece!

“Get off of me Mark!” Emmy grunted while pushing Mark off of her in the sweaty, crammed car.

“Stop being so sensitive Emmy, gosh. Everything annoys you.” Mark geared

“Not everything annoys me, it's just everything you do that annoys me.”

Mark started to snicker under his breath.

 His dark brown hair with fiery amber eyes. He’s the worst thing to happen to me. My stupid step-brother.

“Ok kids, don’t make me come back there. We’ll be there in thirty minutes.” Cooed my mother

“Thirty minutes of torture.” Groaned Mark

“Always with you.’’ 

 I rolled my eyes and pushed my smooth forehead onto the cool glass and watched the trees go by in blurs. I thought back to my dad in california and the soft cushiony sand. Why couldn't I be there? Instead I'm stuck in Wyoming. No one wants to go to Wyoming. I jumped in my seat at the surprising buzz of my phone triggered my excitement. Justin! I frantically thumbed through my phone and into the bright green messages app. “I have a surprise for you…” typed Justin. I pushed the warm device, humming with electricity close to my chest and let out a short sigh. 

“You disgust me.” Whispered Mark.

“You’re just jealous.” I teased.

“Oh please.”

 



Screech! “We’re here kiddos!”

“Finally some fresh air!” Me and Mark sighed in unison, which made us glare at each other.

“Well isn’t that cute!” Nudged Mom

“Whatever.” I opened up the car door to smell the fresh smell of paint and tar. I glanced around to take in the wonderful sites of the city. And the colossal building that lay in front of me. The build was swarming with people in bright blue hats. Carrying luggage, and food. This really was luxury!

 


While I was exploring the green earth I turned a corner and saw a tall man that looked very familiar. Wait, is that who I think it is? 

“Dad!” I screamed

The figure turned to look at me, and it immediately shuffled away past the corner and into the unknown. I shrugged to myself thinking there was a logical explanation and that really wasn't my father, it was just my mind playing tricks on me. So, I brushed off all my uncertainty and made my way to my mother. I walked on the cobblestone floor to my Mom. Her bright eyes looked in my direction and she smiled.


 

“Ok Emmy, I’m going to check into the hotel, make sure Mark doesn't get into any trouble.”

“That's impossible…” I muttered to myself

  Mom and this tall jock had gotten married a year ago. Therefore, ruining my life. Plus, his son is the biggest jerk, and now I have to live with him! Mark has been horrible now that my step-dad is off on a business trip for a couple of months. He’s always traveling, and my Mom is blind to what horrible people they are when they are not around her.


“It’s just sibling rivalry.” “oh, he would never!” Mom would say when I complained about them.


I snapped out of my daydreaming when I felt the sharp pain of hair being tugged. The stinging that seems like it will never stop.“

“OW! What the heck let go of me!” I struggled. 

Mark just let out his devious giggle and dropped my beautiful blonde hair from his wretched grasp. I turned to look into his face . He simply crouched down on his knees to see me, eye to eye.
“I'm going shopping.” He said

“But you never go shopping.” I protested

“Yeah I do, just never with you.”

“Well, Mom says I'm in charge of you so I say no.” I stuttered while crossing my arms 

“Well, I don’t care what Elizabeth says to you. I'm going.”

 I just rolled my eyes as a purple mustang pulled up and he reached for the doors. He gave me a babish wave before getting sucked in, I only got one golod glance inside the car but I could tell his dad would not have been happy. I let him go even though I knew I would be the one to get into trouble when my mom realized his absence because I'm the more responsible one.

I was bored, looking around for something to do, but there was nothing it seemed. No grass, the valet had taken the car, it was like we were in the middle of nowhere. I went to go get Mom but I couldn’t find her anywhere. I couldn't find anyone anywhere. The place was deserted. looked inside the hotel and there was no one. I grabbed my phone but it wouldn’t turn on.

  I swear it was at 90% five minutes ago, and where is everyone! Suddenly my phone started buzzing

Unknown number… My phone wouldn't turn on a second ago and now someone is calling me?

I answer, but no one talks. 

“Hello? Hello?” 

No response.

“Hi Honey, Where's Mark?”

The sudden cold touch of my mothers hand makes my arm hair raise.

“He said he’s going shopping.” I said, still shaking off the unannounced contact.

“Oh ok!” Smiled Mom

I sighed at her inability to read emotion. Sometimes I wished I had a mom who understood more things. I plopped down on a moss covered rock, thinking of what my life had become. We were such a happy family. My mom, my dad, and me. Was there anything wrong with me having a normal life? Is it my fault my parents are divorced? I wish I had someone to talk to that would understand. I felt a gentle tap on the shoulder and I cocked my head to the right. There stood Justin.

“Oh my gosh! Baby, how’d you get here?” I cheered, drowning the deep thoughts I had been wondering for years.

“I flew.” He said plainly

“Well that's so great,” I grabbed him and pulled him aside, out of my mother's hearing distance. “I need you to save me from Mark… He’s evil.” I looked right in his black, familiar eyes with the best serious face I could make. Then we both burst out laughing. I showed him a tour of our grandeur hotel and we had a great time together. We went swimming, had dinner at the very fancy buffet, and watched the stars. After all that, we went up to our room and started watching our favorite romance. I turned my head toward him.

"Justin, I love you," I said

He smiled,looked into the bright light of the television then shoved me off his shoulder, got up and left the room. What the heck? I rushed to the door and saw him walking close to the railing down the stairs. I ran up to him and merely felt the hood of his sweatshirt when he turned a corner. I quickly did so as well but I couldn't find him anywhere.

"Justin?" I questioned

 I searched the balcony, the elevator, I stared down the floor tiles, and the indoor palm tree. I called his name in the warm night air covered only in my silk pajamas.

But he was gone, it was like he vanished out of thin air. He was being such a jerk. I went into my room and smashed the picture of him I had next to my bed. After I did so, the clock stopped. Oh my gosh! It’s 4 A.M already? I have to get to bed. So I hobbled across the steps, flipped the light switch and snuggled into bed. I slept peacefully, and had dreams of sandy beaches. The only thing that disturbed my rest was the creaking of a nearby door.

The author's comments:

Chapter 4,5,6 are a little sketchy, they may be rewritten. just let me know what you think

The next day, I sat down on the couch. I grabbed the remote from the cedar plank floor and pressed the bright red button on the top of the remote. I almost fell back when I switched the channel to the News. 


"Good Evening Wyoming,” Projected the news woman. “I have some shocking news for you today. There has been a murder in Jeanstin. The victim is a 17 teen-year-old boy named Justin Horner. He was supposedly murdered This morning at 3 am. Police are investigating the situation, and they will solve this mystery fast. Do not fret, this will all be over soon." Stated an Announcer on the News


I collapsed on the couch. "No, no, not Justin. please no."

I scrambled on my bedside table. I picked up my car keys and burst through the door of the hotel, shoved through anyone in my way, and sprinted to the parking lot. To my surprise, there were two police outside my blazing red car. 

"We need to talk to you, Miss." Growled a Police officer.

"We need you to-" Another started.

"Hello?" 

“I know this is all very hard for you to understand… but I need you to trust me.” a voice flickered.

“Who are you, and what is going on?” I raved. 

“Just try and hold very… still. 

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! 

"Come on Lucy, time for school! I'm not going to tell you again."

"I'm coming, Mom!" She yelled

She ran down the stairs and started to grab the cereal from the counter.

"Hey Mom, do you remember that girl that went missing a few months ago?” Asked Lucy

Lucy's Mom stared at her with big eyes.

"Forget about it, Let it go," she said monotonously

"What do you mean, Mom?"Asked Lucy 

"Mom?" Yelled Lucy as her Mother drifted off to sleep.

What the heck? Mom must have not gotten sleep last night, whatever. Lucy decided to drive herself to school so she went to the garage, strapped herself in and started to drive. Lucy was looking for a new song to play when a black car pulled out in front of her while on a highway and she crashed into them, hard. The next thing she knew she was upside down in the ditch, and when she looked over to the opposite car she saw a girl. Probably 17 and she was bleeding from her head. The girl was staring off into the distance with her eyes wide open, the girl was dead. Lucy was horrified, she threw up and strapped out of her car. She didn’t know where else to go, so in her dazed state she ran to school, still covered in blood

      Class

Before Lucy sat down, she ran to the bathroom to get cleaned off. She was too light headed to notice she was bleeding profusely from her head, but she just strapped on her mangled backpack and left. After finding her seat in her homeroom, (Room 113) she noticed no one was there. She checked the teacher's computer, and it was a Friday, school was on. She was confused, so she went into the teacher's lounge, but all she found was the principal lying on his desk, shivering, and sleeping.

“Mr. Derret?” She asked.

The principal just snored, leaving her with no answer. She let curiosity get the best of her and she started snooping around her desk. She found some test answers and shoved them into her back pocket.

“These will be useful in the future. Next time, don’t sleep on the job.” She laughed and walked away clutching the papers. It was only when the papers were getting soggy with her blood when she realized she was getting dizzy from the loss of blood. She decided to go to the hospital. So she packed up her bags, bowed to the school and walked out of the doors. The nearest hospital was 5 miles away, but she didn’t want to walk that far. She started wandering around the city, and she saw something she had never seen before, a black hospital. This must be new…

It was only a block away so she decided to go and get treated. It was like it had popped up out of nowhere. She lives in Wyoming, and nothing weird happened in Wyoming. How could a building as large as this one pop up suddenly, so quickly?

Before Lucy could get any closer she saw something strange. A cot was being pushed into the hospital, but there was no one pushing the cot. To add to the confusion, the woman that was killed in the car crash was on the cot, but she was dead. Why is a dead person using the hospital? And where is everyone! She walked up to the hospital, and the receptionist almost screamed when she saw her. 

“How-how a-are you awake!?” The Nurse shivered

“Because… It’s a school day?” She responded

“We don’t treat people like you.” The Nurse scoffed

“What do you mean people like me?” Lucy asked

“Alive people!!”

“What do you mean you don’t treat alive people? Why would a dead person need to be hospitalized?” 

“Ma'am i'm going to need you to leave before I call authorities.”The Nurse Scoffed

Lucy rolled her eyes and turned to go, but before she did she heard something like a woman's voice. And she felt something on her back. She turned around and bolted out of the hospital. This is the weirdest day of my life. I’m going to head back home. She arrived home to greet her mother but her mother was gone. All that was left was some tire marks out front and a red x on their door. 

“Mom?”Asked Lucy

But there was no response. She checked her neighbors house, no one home. She checked her friend's house, no one was there. It was like the whole world had gone to sleep and she was the only one awake.

The author's comments:

This is my favorite chapter by far

She burst through her front door and onto the soft, familiar carpet. She screamed for her mother, her father, her brother, but she was met with a still, terrifying silence. She grasped the cold hard wood banister as she heaved for a calming breath. She looked up from her frantic bent-over posture and looked at herself in the mirror. The same, beautiful young girl with hazelnut brown hair and bright cheerful sage eyes. She turned her attention quickly to the upper floor in hopes her mother would be there, maybe sleeping in or watching tv too loud. The only strength left inside her, hope and fear, shoved her up the cool grainy steps of the wooden staircase. She felt her wait shift as she made her way to her mothers bedroom. Lucy eyed the rose gold handle, deciding if she wants to know what is beyond the door. 

“You can do this, Lucy.” she spoke. 

She reached with all her heart, but her mind held her back as it juggled the possibilities. She made a breakthrough and twisted the warm knob, and pushed the door open with such might it could have blown you away. She breathed in deeply, squinted her eyes, and craned her neck into the warm room that smelled of cinnamon candles and cigarettes. A room where so much happiness was made in between the striped blue wallpaper. Lucy caught sight of the red velvet couch that her own mother had nursed her in all thoughts years ago. She looked to the bed, covered in ivory fluffy sheets that she had watched a movie in with her mother just last night. The warmth and the popcorn kernels. The laughter and the memories all fading away behind the terror of the situation. She burst into the room, she couldn't tell if it was her dirty contacts that caused her blurry vision or the tears that were streaming from her pale face. Lucy looked around frantically asking for some hint of what happened to her mother. She sprinted past her happy memories, and into the bathroom. The Cold tile floor sent a shiver down her spine. She stared straight into the bathtub. The water overflowing onto the gray cracked marble floor. And on the side of the porcelain tub was a large, red X.



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