10 years is a long period of time, lots of things can happen. People grow, ideals change, morals alter, and memories are forgotten. Like most, I don’t know what I was doing at this exact moment 10 years ago. But I am able to remember exactly what happened during that year. And I feel that it is the proper time to share this with the world, no matter the possible consequences. Granted, with the technology that exists now I can hopefully skate by scott-free, though it is also a double edged sword because I can get found out just as easily. So, I guess if this is the last internet presence that I have, I want to say I am sorry for any who view this and to my family, if I haven’t already said goodbye then…I love you.

My parents were long separated at this point and I was a moody teenager, not in a rebellious way…just emotional. Being 14 at the time, the world was still new to me and there was a lot to explore and understand. Since I am an only child with divorced parents, I had to grow up relatively fast. This came with a lot of consequences, looking back I was full of myself and thought I knew everything I needed to know at that point. Still did well in school, but put everything I learned into two categories: I need this information and I don’t need this information. 

At the time, I had been really into watching the show “Breaking Bad”. I would do my best to watch the episodes as they came out. My family only had cable so I was stuck trying to time everything I could. I was also stuck trying to fill in gaps of information because at the age of 8, there was no way that I would be able to watch the show, or even understand it the way I did. The way I understood it was that Mexico was a complex place of cartels and drug deals…and I was really into it. The thought of escaping both the law and competition for some reason appealed to my teenage mind. I would often lay in bed thinking about ways I would manage the drug trade, ways I would deal with the outsiders, and especially the ways that I would create that perfect “blue”. So you could imagine my excitement when I heard that my parents had united to give me the greatest end of school gift I could’ve ever received. A week long trip to Mexico, Guanajuato to be specific. Guanajuato is a place of tourism so there is a lot of activity from the community. Both foreigners and natives alike. So, I had a lot of opportunities to meet new people who either shared my interest or were a part of my interest. At least that’s what I thought

The first day that I got there, it was much quieter than I was expecting such a trip to be. Instead of there being little food stands and people dancing everywhere. It was just some people walking around chatting, a few open restaurants, and no dancers whatsoever. Granted, it had been a Tuesday when I arrived, but fun shouldn’t be limited to the weekends right? So I brushed it off as an off day and went back to my hotel to unpack and get settled. At this point you may be wondering who is accompanying me. Well, my family (both sides actually) have a friend named Geoff, he has been a part of my family ever since I was born and I always thought he was someone that was truly part of my family. Geoff loves to travel the world and my parents have talked to him for a while trying to figure out if he will ever be going to Mexico anytime soon and thankfully the time came around for him to be visiting Guanajuato. Geoff was, and always has been, an energetic and outgoing person. He knew six different languages at the time and was always talking with the locals about things I could never understand. But, the stories he’d tell were usually the most interesting things about his trips. Geoff was the person that I was going to be with for the next week of my life. Since the people of the town were acting so strangely. I decided to ask Geoff what this might’ve meant. He responded with a very simple

“I don’t really know, I’ll ask around tomorrow for some details.”

I shrugged and went to take a shower and go to bed. This being the last thing that I did that night.

The next morning, I woke up to the smell of eggs and heavy seasoning. Geoff had woken up and made huevos rancheros. It’s basically a little dish with eggs, beans, and some sauce. A classic Mexican meal. Geoff said that he wanted to get me acquainted with the Mexican lifestyle. I haven’t really had anything truly Mexican other than tacos, and even those were Tex-Mex style. The amount of flavor of this single dish was impeccable. If this trip was even going to be half as impressive as the food, then I was in for a trip I was never going to forget.

The rest of the day was enlightening, I was slowly understanding Mexican culture more than just my perception of Breaking Bad. I will say that the end of this day was the start of a strange pattern throughout the rest of the trip. At the end of the day, at around 7:00 pm a large group of people wandered around the town, clearly not in unison but more like everyone decided to go for a walk all at the same time. After a little bit of time (I’d say something like 20 minutes) they all went into a local restaurant. I went to bed before I saw them leave, but I remember just shrugging it off as a little thing that Mexicans do. A little racist I know but hey, I was new to the area. Though, as I laid in bed my thoughts began to wander. What exactly were they talking about? Could it perhaps be something about the cartel?? I made a promise that night that tomorrow, I would go to that restaurant and find out exactly what is going on in there.

The following day was nothing to write home about, Geoff said that he didn’t have anything planned for the day so he just gave me some cash to go around the town and buy some things that piqued my interest. There was a little shop that I found that looked to be run by a little family. There was an old lady running the place and it was clear to me one thing, I had to remember my Spanish. This alone sent a chill down my spine and I contemplated leaving without buying anything but as soon as the thought crossed my mind, something caught my eye. A vase, a blue water paint looking vase. I for one wasn’t a huge plant person, and neither were either of my parents. But, just the beauty of this vase was enough for me to swallow my fear of human communication and to talk to the “abuela.” So I grab the vase and walk up to the counter to get myself this vase. I use my very limited knowledge of foreign languages to say “Ahola”. The abuela gives me a strange look and chuckles to herself. “Hola, H-O-L-A”. 

I don’t really know what she meant by that but I held the vase up with my money in the other hand. From what she says I think she understood what I meant.

“¿Quieres jarrón? Pagas dinero, pero no te rompes. Demonios malos”

At the time I knew that “dinero” was money, the rest was not ringing a bell. So I gave the money and she said another Spanish word that I knew: “Gracias.” I waved and responded with the same word and left. The second I left the store I became incredibly confused, why in god's name did I just buy a vase. Not only do I have close to no need for it, but now I have to pack it carefully before we travel so it doesn’t break…whatever, I’ll worry about that later. I went back to the hotel and set it down on the nightstand, and honestly it was a really eye catching sight. The humble glow of the lights alongside the soft watercolor blue was a great addition to the rather bleak hotel. By the time I got back it was roughly 5:00 pm and I was just hanging around when I heard the door open and my supervisor Geoff entered. He looked a little out of it like he had a few drinks, but not enough to where he was unstable in any way. Since it was around dinner time I decided to enact my plan to go to this restaurant. So I asked Geoff if we could go to dinner together and he agreed, the first step was completed. At around 6:00 we got cleaned up and headed to dinner. Now, despite what I have said previously, this was nothing super exciting. The food was delicious and Geoff and I discussed our day, neither of our days were particularly exciting. Just a basic day in Mexico, however, when the clock struck 7:00 the restaurant started to fill up. Lots of people all around us, like a huge birthday party or something like that. I was looking around and trying to figure out what these people were saying. Geoff obviously noticed my curiosity and asked what I was looking for from these people, I responded by saying
“I saw these people come here yesterday”

“Well, they’re locals and they know where the good food is”

“Nonono, I saw these exact people come in here last night. Is that a normal thing for Mexicans to do?”

“I might be an educated person on international things, but I don’t know every cities quirks”

“Right, but isn’t it strange that we are in Mexico and we are seeing a bunch of people together?”

“Are you suggesting we are watching a cartel meeting?”

The second that Geoff said this, a group of men got up from their seats and asked (in spanish) to speak with him. 

“Um, no” Geoff responded

They clearly didn’t take this as an answer and immediately threw him to the ground, spilling drinks and food in the process. This all happened in a matter of seconds and I had trouble processing exactly what was happening. But before I could get my facts straight, I was being lifted out of my chair and as I tried to get out of their grasp I was hit in the head with an object. Still have no idea what that object was, but the next thing I remember I was in a dimly lit room with a bloody but alive. I sat in that room for what seemed like forever, after this eternity a door opened and a large silhouette entered the room. This silhouette then proceeded to take Geoff away and that was my last time seeing him. After a shorter period of time the silhouette entered again and gave me the clearest instructions of my life.
“We take you to plane, get on plane to home, you speak of this…we bring you back”

Not knowing whether or not Geoff was ok or not I began to speak up but before I could even say a single word

“Understand!”

I wrote this without a question mark because the way it was spoken wasn’t a question, it was a statement that was never meant to be misunderstood.

So, this is the end I guess. I wasn’t something super exciting or crazy, I just needed to get this pain off of my chest. My parents wondered about Geoff and I just told them that he went straight home. I am worried about the outcome of me doing this, but if anyone has leads on anything please reach out. And if this is my last online presence, so be it. Thank you