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Missing
Missing
Noah
Halloween night was coming up fast. Decorations were flying up everywhere. Kids screaming in the hall. Girls muttering about the Halloween dance. But aside from all this chatter something strange was going on with me; Noah Michaels. I was not really in the mood for halloween, which was usually my favorite holiday. Rotten teeth and chasing boys at ten p.m. But this year, I felt strange like someone was watching me. My best friend Macy was chatting up a couple of cute seniors and one of them was staring straight at me. Brown shaggy hair and blue eyes he was quite adorable really. Those blue eyes, boring into my chocolate brown.
“Yes I would love to go trick-or-treating with you.” Macy squealed.
It wasn’t really trick-or-treating at our age, it was just having the privilege of being out late at night.
“You’ll come too?”
Oh my goodness. This boy had the most wonderful velvety voice. And what was more, he was talking to ME.
“Uh sure.”
OK so I was going out for a night with two boys I don’t know and my amazingly,crazy best friend.
What was I going to wear?! I was going out at NIGHT with SENIORS. I had gone through my closet about fifty times, and I still could not find anything. “DING” My doorbell rang..... What the heck who could that be? I walked down the stairs and Found Macy with the two boys from earlier today and there I was standing in a miniskirt and tank top.
“I’m not exactly ready.” I said, but of course Macy said that I looked fine.
Around 8 the foursome headed out. I found out the names of the boys. Eli and Adam. Adam was hooked at the hip to Macy and Eli was quiet but stayed close to me and stared at me a lot. In the beginning it was kinda flattering but as he kept it on I was starting to think that there was something more behind this stare other than those piercing blue eyes. The night wore on and we had a lot of fun. The little kids were so cute. Running around in superhero costumes and dressed as fairies and Barbies. Macy and Adam hit off right from the start and later that night they decided to go home together. As soon as they were gone I was standing alone. Eli had disappeared, I couldn’t see him anywhere. I looked around frantically. And then two big hands.......Grabbed me.
I didn’t see who it was. The hands whipped me around so fast. They were large and beefy hands, and very sweaty. One hand was over my mouth and the other was pulling on my hair.
“ Arghhhhhh” out came a muffled scream. Who was this monster? I finally caught a glimpse and saw that this guy was roughly around Eli’s height. He was wearing a black ski mask so I couldn’t see what his face looked like. He dragged me by my hair all the way down the street and up to the edge of the woods. The branches had almost no leaves on them so that gave someone a better chance to this person dragging me. But he stopped right at the edge of the trees and I saw a rusty red truck. He pushed me into the very back. I heard the creak and slam of a door, and then felt the wind as it rushed past my frozen cheeks.
Macy
I was sitting at home thinking about the amazing night that I had had with Eli, Adam and Noah.. I need to call Noah, ask her how the end of the night went with Eli. I picked up the phone and dialed her number. I got her voicemail. But it wasn’t the same voicemail as it was the day before. It sounded like this:
“Help me some guy took me and is threatening to kill me. I don’t know where I am but it smells like mildew and cigarettes. Please call the police
SAVE ME! “
Those last two words sounded like someone was ripping the very heart of Noah. Someone needed to find her. Where was Eli? Wouldn’t he know where she was? He with her for the whole night. Some guilt was rising into my stomach. If I had’t left her she probably wouldn’t be gone, or I would be with her and she wouldn’t be alone. Oh my god I need to call Eli. I picked up my phone once again. Eli couldn’t be with Noah she would’ve mentioned it in that disturbing voice mail. “Ring Ring Ring”
“Hello?” His voice sounded really annoyed.
“Hey Eli it’s Macy. When was the last time you saw Noah? She was kidnapped! I called and her voicemail was her pleading for someone to find her.” My voice cracked on the last few words. My best friend was missing and could die any minute.
“The last time I saw her was when she said that she had to go to the bathroom. She never came back and I didn’t know her phone number.” His voice sounded bored and irritated.
“Don’t you care?” I was stunned.
“Of course I care.. but I’m kinda busy so goodbye.”
The line. Went. Dead.
Noah
I couldn’t see where I was, all I knew was that I was somewhere in a very dark and dank room. It smelled like cigarettes and mildew. I could feel the warm trickles of blood dripping down my back, elbows and knees from when this monster chucked me into this tunnel. I was sitting on the floor waiting for someone to come and rescue me but as I sat there for what felt like hours, not a single savior came my way.
“BANG” the door flew open and I saw the silhouette of a tall and muscular man. Well he wasn’t exactly a man. I realized he was still a teenager. As he steps into the light I realize it’s Eli. Oh. My. Gosh.
“Eli? What is going on why did you do this to me?!” I was in hysterics. This was the boy I had hung out with all night. He had kidnapped me.
“All night I have been thinking that I WANT you. I can’t let you leave me. If anyone comes and tries to get you, your life will be taken away from you with a simple flick of my wrist. I’ve killed girls before Noah. It gives me pleasure to watch them scream and writhe.”
I told him he was one of the sickest people I have ever encountered.
He slapped me and left a red mark on my already bruised and bloody cheeks. He stalked out of the room. I waited until I heard his footsteps above me. Then slowly I slid my hands out of the ropes. He had not tied them tight enough. I had been squirming for three hours and I had small wrists. Once I was out of the bindings I got up and fell immediately. My leg couldn’t hold my weight. So I crawled over the dirty cement floor. I found my way in the dark to the cellar door. I opened it a crack and saw a stair case. I slowly crawled my way up and peeked out. Their was a living room and a kitchen. There it was I saw my cell phone. It was peeking out from under a hand gun. I checked if the coast was clear, and all I could see was a little black cat nibbling on it’s food. So I slowly made my way into the kitchen and to the counter. I reached up and grabbed my phone. I pressed one. On the second ring Macy answered. I told her the address to where I was being held. I picked it up earlier when I heard Eli talking to somebody on the phone. She said she was on her way with Adam and the police. I crawled back behind the door and waited. Then things took a turn for the worst. Eli came barreling in. He saw me and shoved me down the stairs into the basement. I heard a crack. Great there went my other leg. He ran down the stairs and started screaming curse words at me. He pulled out the gun. I was being held at gun point. That’s when I realized there was 5 police men standing behind him, my best friend and of course Adam. That’s why he freaked. He was going to kill me. They were to late he pulled the trigger. And then everything went BLANK.
I woke up to the sound of beeping and white everywhere. Where am I? I saw Macy standing next to me, and my Mom and Dad. They told me everything. How I was kidnapped. And held ransom. How I was shot in the shoulder and broke both my legs but the best part of it all was that I was alive and that Eli was in jail. They brought me home in the next few days. I couldn’t go to school but there were news people everywhere I went.. Everybody wanted to be the friend of a girl who had been shot. I was always shy so I didn’t exactly love the attention, but Macy did. She kept saying if it wasn’t for her I would be dead. In that I realized she wasn’t s true friend she just liked the attention she got when she was around me. I broke ties with her. Now life is good. Eli and Gun free.
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this is really good and concrete but it is extremely short. though the one chapter did do the storyline justice, maybe you should add more vivid descriptions and emotions. the chapters could be shorter, too. maybe you could despribe Halloween and the woods and what Macy went through when she reacted after hearing the voicemail and how did Noah get the phone if she was bound tight?
Just a few suggestions, but the story rocked! You don't have to follow any of my suggestions; it is your decision. I don't hold grudges. :) I hope at least one of the suggestions helped.