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Growing, but Not Up?
I hate fears. They act as the irrational thoughts that flood our minds anytime we’re faced with trying something new. These thoughts act as shackles holding us back from growth–keeping us at a standstill.
I just recently conquered my fear of roller coasters, before yesterday the amount of times I had been on a roller coaster matched the number zero. Ever since I was a kid I had the unyielding fear of heights. No matter how high and what was waiting for me at the bottom I steered clear. From fireman's poles to rock walls, if tall places were involved I made sure I was safely planted on the ground.
This was never an issue until this year, I was perfectly happy with my life on the ground, my feet and the ground were very close friends and that was just the way I liked it. It wasn’t until the start of summer that I realized I had grown up a lot since my childhood days of being afraid of the fireman’s pole, but one thing hadn’t grown–my courage to overcome this one fear. I was sitting with my friends at the top of the ferris wheel, something they had to drag me on by the way, deathly terrified that the wind would blow just a little too hard and we’d all go tumbling to the ground. After I got off that ride I thought I was safe from heights, and for a little while, I was, until October.
October is the time of year where everyone’s fears come out to play and I guess mine were no different. After not dealing with my fear of heights for another six months I was faced with a rude awakening when I found myself in the car with my friends, heading to Six Flags. In that moment my fears seemed as tall as the rides. The only comfort I had on this drive was that another one of my friends was even more afraid that I was. I spent my time focusing on making her feel better. Trying to convince her that the rides were safe and that she’d be fine, and knew I couldn’t do that until I convinced myself first. So there I sat squished next to her in between two metal bars, the only things keeping me from flying through the crisp autumn air, with a smile on my face, because at that moment I knew I was no longer the scared little girl I once was standing at the base of the fireman’s pole.
That day I left with a weight off my shoulders. Something I hadn’t been able to overcome for my whole life, was finally nothing more than a joke to tell my friends and family. I had never realized how much I was holding myself back until I helped someone else realize their fear. Without shifting my focus, I never would have “grown” out of my fear, a fear that no longer holds me back like the metal bars of a roller coaster.
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I wanted to write this piece to show how I overcame a significant fear in my life.