There are times in life, just random times when you really don’t know why you’re here or what your real purpose in life is. There are times when you’re just sitting in class, talking with friends, or laying in bed and you try to make sense of everything or anything and it all just seems so surreal. It’s incredible that our minds will let us even try to make sense of anything that this world we so-call ‘live in’. I’ve found myself in this oh-too familiar situation where I just take a moment to take it all in-and the result? Uncertainty. It’s as if my mind is shielding my coherency from putting the pieces of this unbelievably huge puzzle together. Even now, I can stop and try to make sense of this, this thing in which we all live in, and I just can’t. I can’t seem to put my finger on that intangible line. I can’t place myself into some kind of order, some kind of place and I can’t, it’s just so mind-boggling!
It’s funny really, because we all do things that we think will help us find ourselves. We try and make up hobbies for ourselves (painting, yoga, T.V.), we try to listen to music that we think defines us, we dress the way we want ourselves to be represented, we do almost anything and everything to fit in, to feel like we belong somewhere within this society of goliaths and David’s. We try to shield ourselves from the truths of reality.
What is the reality? Well, there may be many versions. Just as there are different versions of what happened during WWII (some dare to show their faces and say there was no holocaust…what crack are they smoking, I don’t think I want to know).
I believe that it takes times such as these, where the future seems too uncertain, seems somewhat eerie, ominous, or simply opaque, for us to take a tiny break, from all the lattes, drama, and internal conflicts, and really soak in what’s going on around us. Life, during these times, seems only worth living for when we appreciate and soak in all the small and either beautiful or somewhat pleasing aspects of life. It could be anything, like the cramped messiness of your shared room, to the painting of that pink flower you did just yesterday. Life is more than who we are, but if we don’t try to take in some of that life, some of this meaning, then there’s no point in going on, in struggling for a future. Uncertainty is what pushes us forward, what nags us, what smiles up at us in those tiny faces of our children, siblings, and even of strangers.
Taking it all in, whether it be piece by piece, time at a time, helps keep us sane, healthy and content for the time being.
Trying to figure out how the world works around us is nothing new to us. Since the appearance of the human, we have tried to make sense of everything and anything we fear, distrust, or simply wonder about. This is nothing new to us, but the ways we find out are different and surprisingly refreshing.