Lunar Problem Solving: Prisoners without Gravity | Teen Ink

Lunar Problem Solving: Prisoners without Gravity

May 20, 2013
By rbelson GOLD, Hartland, Wisconsin
rbelson GOLD, Hartland, Wisconsin
15 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Prison over-population is a growing concern for many Americans. The rate of crime is increasing which should further complicate this debacle. To provide a solution to this ever present issue we drafted this humble proposition and implore readers to keep an open mind concerning the historical new endeavor. We whole heartedly believe that the proper way to resolve the issue of prison over-population is to launch prisoners toward a bright new future as a part of the innovative moon civilization.


Inmates are nuisance to society in essence they are holding them back. Not only do taxpayers need to pay more to house these delinquents but on top of that, the inmates aren’t bringing in any source of income to help fund their stay in penitentiaries. On average, inmates cost 47,000 dollars per year to house and feed (California Criminal Justice Review). Opposed to if we sent the same inmates to the moon; the taxpayers would only have to pay 50,000 for a one way ticket. This is only 3,000 dollars more than a yearly prisoner payment. Additionally if we sent them to the moon we would only have to make one payment of 50,000 dollars opposed to the yearly payments of 47,000 dollars. This helps raise funds, once on the moon the prisoners will partake in a reality television show similar to survivor. The inmates will compete for their freedom and survival through a number of various challenges where the winner will receive food and other survival supplies. By making this a reality show, production costs will be cut down from one million dollars per episode of a scripted show to a mere 10,000 dollars that a reality productions cost. But do not worry; the tax payers will not be in debt as a result of the entertainment endeavor, in fact the average reality show brings in about 36 million dollars per year. After the first successful season, the show can pick up the transportation and food fees itself. On top of the sheer profit the show will bring in, additional money can be made on advertisement space and endorsements. In addition, more revenue can be generated through astrophysicists, space engineers and astronomers using our lovely and compliant prisoners as crash test dummies on the new space inventions. We will be disguising the tests as challenges on the show, so it is in the best interest of the prisoner to subject themselves to these inventions. On earth, the average crash test dummy costs 200,000 dollars. By allowing them to collect data from the prisoners they can give that money directly to the project which benefits the taxpayers. However, the scientists are also benefiting from using the prisoners; by utilizing real bodies the data that they collect is that much more realistic.


Even though many would scoff at our modest proposal, there are many ethical aspects and justifications to our proposal. Broadcasting the lives of criminals would hopefully prevent future crimes from occurring by using scare tactics. This would convince the younger generations that with every action, there are drastic consequences. However, life for the prisoners wouldn’t actually be as dreadful as the show portrays. By shipping them to the moon, we would be generously including them in a historic adventure where they would pave the way for the colonization of the moon. In essence, they would be continuing the American dream by fulfilling manifest destiny and paving the way to the new frontier. Think of the prisoners, would they rather sit and rot in a jail cell or be one of the first residents of the moon and be a part of engaging moon festivities. By broadcasting their festivities, we would be transforming them from worthless nobodies into responsible reality TV stars. Furthermore, by separating those from our community were preventing the spread of serious and troublesome mental illnesses in today’s youth. By the sheer distance from earth, the moon provides an ideal location for prisoners to prevent escapees who want to terrorize the human race out of revenge. On a side note, if they tried to escape from the moon, it would make fantastic television and boost our rating as a result of all the people tuning in to see pure stupidity at its finest. Additionally, each convict will be issued their own space suits preventing common prison violence from occurring. These suits will act as a mobile form of solitary confinement. Moreover, the reality show challenges will teach them values and force them to earn their right to live. These new found morals and values will not be wasted because the surviving prisoner, who didn’t lose their life after performing poorly in a challenge, will win their complete and utter freedom and be released back into society. This won’t pose a threat because their venture on the moon will have transformed them into respectable citizens. Simply put, were not just killing them, which is the current status of our penitentiary system which, in most’s eyes, is considered more unethical than our modest proposal.


Though people may see this idea as revolutionary, in reality, forms of this proposal have been tested and proven effective in previous years. The first convict colony was Georgia in 1728. It was used by England as a method to deal with overpopulation of prisons. These offenders were transported and forced to work for their living. These people, in return, sparked colonization of the Americas. This proved so effective that in 1788, England utilized Australia as an entire island for convicts. They sent the criminals who were beyond hope of rehabilitation to the island. However, the prisoners ended up prospering in the face of adversity. They rose to the challenge, built their own empire from the ground up. Overall, this proves that anyone, when given a second chance and means to improve, has the ability to reclaim one’s good name.


By shipping all of the United State’s prisoners to the moon the new frontier that is space will be opened and America will be benefiting from the normally expensive exploration by forcing already imprisoned people to contribute to government revenue, which they would not normally do on earth. Not only will society benefit, the prisoners will as well. Upon further analysis our modest proposal benefits everyone. So why not instigate it? Through this method, prisoners will finally be contributing to society. Huston, we have no problems.



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