When I broke my hand

It was late afternoon. I was in the class sitting and studying. My friend we’re fooling around, throwing crayons or being loud. They we’re to stop me from studying, but I resisted it. They continued fooling around and the substitute was getting was getting mad. Honestly, I was involved, too, just because I happened to be next to them. I got upset that the substitute assumed I was part of the trouble. But I let it go because I knew that she didn’t mean to yell at us. My friend Ryan stood up and went to sharpen his pencil. He was smirking when he stood up. It was like a signal that he was going to do something. I didn’t know what that meant. When he was done sharpening his pencil, he passed close enough to my desk so he could purposely knock my book to the ground and wouldn’t pick it up. I shouted “pick it up”. The substitute got mad and told me to go to the office. I argued with her that I was just trying to tell my friend to pick up my book. She didn’t listen to me and wouldn’t believe me. In that moment, before I went to the office, my face was so red and my mind was just thinking violently. I didn’t know what to do I was just so mad. I picked up my stuff and before I walked out, I punched the wall and that’s when I broke my hand.

On that day when the incident occurred, I was not myself. Usually when I’m mad, I go to another place in my mind where its calm and peaceful, but it was opposite from what I was experiencing, angry and annoyed. I was angry because I got too many write-ups and I didn’t want to have detentions. The principal had already warned me that if I get sent down to the office, I would receive severe consequences and I didn’t want that. It was annoying too because of how the substitute sent me down to the office. All I did was ask my friend to pick up my book. When she said “go to the office”, I knew that I was getting in trouble and the thoughts running through my head was “I’m suspended or expelled.” I was thinking really violently, I felt like punching her, but I knew that it would lead me to heavy consequences. I know it sounds bad.
While I was sitting in the office, the pain in my hand was getting excruciatingly worse. The receptionist thought I was joking around when I told her I’d broken my hand. She thought I was because I’ve got in too much trouble again. She finally believed me when I showed her my swollen hand, so she sent me to the nurse’s office. I figured that my pain would go away but I was wrong. The nurse said that this had never happened and before so she didn’t know what to do. She just poured cold water and ice cubes around my hand and I just sat there. Whenever she moved my hand I felt more pain. The thoughts going in my head were so horrible. Wandering if the doctor would cut my hand off so I wouldn’t feel any more pain. I waited there for about 30 minutes for my mom to pick me up and go to the hospital. I went there and the doctor talked to me and said that they have to inject my hand so that I wouldn’t feel any pain when they massaged my hand. It was horrible; my hand was swollen and bloody. This moment was important because whenever I get mad it reminds me of my hand and I know not to punch anything at all. I also learned that thinking violently won’t solve any problems.
I discovered that I lose my temper easily. I used to solve problems using violence and won’t let go of it easily. When people get mad easily, they should find their quite place or something, so that they can control their temper and think before doing any actions.
Whenever I think about that incident, I feel like a fool for doing that acting before thinking about it. I spent my whole summer doing physical rehabs. I couldn’t do anything like I usually did before. I couldn’t play basketball, play games, ride my bike or hang out with my friends.