In a generation where corruption, school violence, and body image have garnered much attention, people have come to question the root causes. One question that many have not asked is,  “why are girls so mean to one another?” This is not a new problem but it is one so ingrained in society that local DELCO graduate Tina Fey even produced a movie and a Broadway show called “Mean Girls,” which details the dynamic between Cady, the new girl at school, and the so-called “plastics”. However, in spite of the knowledge it exists, most conflicts between girls are under the radar so you never really hear about them. 

Many adults when asked just say “that will happen” or “it will all blow over.'' And many in authority don’t want to get involved and girls do not want to “snitch” on each other in fear of retaliation from the clique. So this begs the question, why is this ancient notion still alive in the world and how can we stop it? 

One reason given by psychologists for “girl drama” details that girls are biologically wired this way. Their hormones have a lot to do with this as they control a lot of how we feel. Scientists have found that females’ brains are truly more complex than males, making them very difficult to read at times. Scientists also did a study and found that it is easier to tell if a male is annoyed than a female. Girls’ upbringings are also a cause of emotional suppression. They are told to be ‘sugar, spice and everything nice’, and cannot display many emotions or they are labeled as crazy or psycho. Girls keep everything pent up, causing them to want to bring down others like them. 

Finally, girls want to bring other girls down because of how much girls verbally and socially interact. Girls come to know more information through others, creating a massive game of telephone where no one hears the same thing but thinks they know the tone and motivation of what was said. Girls believe what they hear without questioning context and place, causing misinformation to be spread. We talk so much we never know what is real news and what is not. Rumors are huge too, as it goes after a girl’s self-esteem and can sometimes lead to anxiety and depression.

To obtain a perspective of this issue, I interviewed twelve students, whose ages ranged from 14-18, along with two teachers and an administrator. I started by asking the students how they felt this was still an issue and why girls compete and degrade each other so much. Their responses were varied, but most attributed the patriarchal ideals that shaped this country centuries ago. An interviewed student- who wished to remain 

anonymous, felt very passionate about this issue. She felt as though her upbringing has to do with her stance on this issue. “I first encountered this in Pre-School. I remember being picked on and standing there thinking, ``I am better than these girls because I love who I am.” This generation would call it “reverse Uno carding” ( I know I am but what are you) in this situation. They were also asked if they felt as though it is more common now than in past generations. Those who said yes, felt as though it was easier to spread because of a rise in social media. Those who disagreed said it is the same amount just spread in a different way. For those who disagreed, they felt as though the rise in social media, though has contributed to other things, did not contribute more to this issue. Those who agreed did think it was because of the risen popularity with social media.

The final question the girls were asked was if schools were doing enough to help this issue. “I feel like though we ask teachers for help on the issue, they do their best. They say it will be okay. And you never want to tell a teacher because then you will be labeled a snitch, so either way nothing gets done,” said one student who will remain anonymous. 

Some of the girls also said they feel the competition is even more apparent in physical education and sports classes. They felt if they were un-athletic they were judged by other girls for not being good at sports and teased. Most—if not all—of the girls interviewed said  “the education focuses more on bullying and this is different from bullying. The school can do what they can but will never be able to stop it.”  Most of it happens after school hours or is so subtle that there is nothing really to report.

Three teachers from Garnet Valley were also interviewed. They are beloved educators by most of the students who have been in their class. A local administrator also agreed to be interviewed and I thought she may have a slightly different viewpoint because she has a more powerful role in school.

I read the responses from the students interviewed about the modern education system to the teachers and asked what they would do if a student came to them with this issue. One teacher said, “We never want to say anything to make the situation worse. My advice for the student would depend on the situation. The one thing I would not say to a student is to be less sensitive and toughen up because in the moment after a bullying situation this is bad advice as the student is probably acutely upset. They at most did not want to make the situation worse for the student and help as best they knew how.” 

The local administrator-who wishes to remain anonymous offered a different perspective. She felt like with girls it was societal—that it was so ingrained in the high school scene that it very rarely got to her level as a discipline issue. I asked her what she would do as a principal if this was brought to her. She said that very few situations ever got all the way to her level but if it did reach her, each student would be talked to alone to determine what was going on. If the issue continued a mediated conversation would proceed. She said, “The main aspect we need to keep in mind is respecting boundaries and yes I would act but I have to respect the students wishes.”

The last teacher said “It is a hard issue to tackle. Unless you do not experience it yourself, you might not know how big the issue really is. In the past, one-way women could rise in status was through marriage, which started the competition. That pattern may still be lingering in society despite improvements in human rights and equality.” Their advice was similar to the other responses of “it would depend on the student and situation.” One interesting part of the response is that teachers felt as though in today’s society “likes or comments on a post” and marriage in early history are representative of status just in different forms.

After studying the reasons girls do this and conducting interviews from Garnet Valley teachers, administrators, and students, I believe there are ways we can stop the destructive nature of this. 

The first is to not let rumors spread. The most common form of girls attacking girls is spreading rumors or gossiping. They can be hard to trace back to the person who started it but if  you ever hear a rumor about somebody, do not tell others, be the point where it stops. Let it end with you. By not spreading it, you not only protect others 

but yourself as well. 

Another is, most of the drama has a male in the mix. Going back to how we are biologically wired to this as the ratio of males to females on the planet is 1:3. We can stop this by not assuming every girl is trying to go after your boyfriend or is in competition with you for a “mate.” Chances are they are not and there is something else more important going on in your life. We also need to stop competing not just for men but for what we perceive as status.

Stop comparing yourself to others on social media. Body image not only contributes to other issues such as depression and eating disorders but many girls feel they are attacked for the way they look. Many photos on social media are either photoshopped or face-tuned. These altered bodies are unrealistic but teens do not know that and try to make themselves look like that. Everybody is different and beautiful in their own way. Just because you do not have a skinny mini body, long hair, and perfect skin does not mean you are any less than them. Know your worth and do not let others define your worth. 

Understanding that this is an issue is the first step towards putting an end to this form of humiliation. If you have ever been guilty of doing this to another girl, know that of all 12 females interviewed they all said yes. The goal of this generation and future generations should be to assemble together and put a stop to it, not blame. Remember that words and actions can hurt people and that there is nothing wrong with talking to a trusted adult about what is going on.