Gun Control: A Satire | Teen Ink

Gun Control: A Satire

June 13, 2014
By Anonymous

Possibly one of the biggest debates going on in Washington and in households across the country, is the debate about how strong gun control laws should be. I for one do not understand why there is a debate, when there is such strong evidence against gun control, especially when concerning the lives of America's school children.

As a result of the two recent school shootings close by, my very own principal made a speech in the morning reports about keeping a sharp eye out for suspicious activity and not being afraid to report anything. I personally felt a little fear when hearing those words and I'm sure some of my peers did too. This fear is good. History has shown that fear is the best method of control. If we want our students to succeed and be on the same caliber as other countries, we have to use this method. Gun control laws would only lower the fear growing in students, definitely not beneficial to things that matter, like grades and America's academic reputation. The fear will keep academics a focus and the fact that most shootings happen in a gym will encourage the students to take more things that matter like science, which is across the building. There will also be less violations as the fear continues to rise, a very good thing for schools because less time and money would be spent seeking out the rule breakers. Students would turn in their classmates and be too scared to commit even a minor infraction in fear of being profiled as a potential shooter.

Not only will a lack of gun control improve academics, it will prove the superiority of America. All other 1st world countries are weak with their tight control of guns and lack of any relating shootings like the ones we are facing. America will prove that we are not swayed by menial upsets of violence and that we are the only remaining empire with true connections to the morals of the past. Sure we evolved traditions of slavery and the legal standings of women; but those were needed. Keeping our constitutional rights exactly as stated in a 225 year old document about a deadly weapon easily accessible to any Joe walking on the street is essential to the conservation of American values.

Besides, if we truly want to protect ourselves against these mentally ill monsters who murder our children, the only solution is to arm ourselves. If teachers and facility had guns they would be able to defend students. Parents would be more at ease knowing there's so many brave citizens on the streets armed waiting to defend the innocent at the turn of the hat. It's a good thing we have an honest organization like the NRA looking out for the majority of America by heavily funding anti gun control politicians and running out of town the supporters. In fact, I propose that all students should carry some weapon, if not a fire arm, in the small chance that there is a shooter. The academic improvements from fear, the proof of America's superiority, staying true to our founding fathers, and protecting ourselves show that the very idea of gun control laws is an attack to the safety of America.


The author's comments:
In case you didn't see the title, this is a satire.

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