Why Surgeons Make the Best Presidents | Teen Ink

Why Surgeons Make the Best Presidents

November 19, 2015
By sloanjacob96 BRONZE, Tempe, Arizona
sloanjacob96 BRONZE, Tempe, Arizona
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

When Benjamin Carson is elected President, he will be the greatest leader our nation has ever seen.


The slate of candidates for the most recent round of Presidential campaigning has a diverse makeup of experience and expertise. There are senators, governors, representatives, mayors, multi-billion dollar businessmen, and even an ex-Secretary of State. It seems that this year’s election has no shortage of qualified candidates clamoring for votes. But that list leaves out one game-changing name:


Ben Carson.


Ben Carson: the renowned neurosurgeon, the youngest ever to lead a medical division at the Johns Hopkins Hospital. Pioneer of the hemispherectomy, a surgery to prevent epilepsy. Recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian honor, for his work in brain surgery. A decorated surgeon, ranked by a Gallup poll as the sixth-most admired man in the world. How do they even measure that? Doesn’t matter. Ben Carson may not be the hero this world deserve, but he’s the hero we need.


But there’s a small hiccup for Ben Carson: He decided to run for President of the United States, and um, he sort of has zero political experience. Not even a whiff of experience. Nothing. For some bedeviling reason, Ben Carson, likely midway through an intensive brain surgery, set down his scalpel, gazed up into the heavens, and decided right then and there that he would start talking about politics. And yet the oddest part about Carson isn’t that he started talking; it’s that people—lots of them—started listening.


Now, don’t be fooled by Dr. Carson’s alarming lack of experience. His visions for America are perhaps greater than any candidate we’ve seen the history of our sacred nation, which is precisely what makes Ben Carson the most qualified candidate for U.S. President.
Let’s take a closer look at some of his most revolutionary political ideas. Perhaps the most sure sign that Carson will be the best president ever is that he despises Barack Obama (who is easily the worst president ever). Not only did Carson predict that Obama will declare martial law and cancel the 2016 elections, but he correctly observed that Obama’s newly enacted health plan “is really I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery.” Preach the good word, Dr. Carson.


The neurosurgeon from Detroit also has ambitious plans for defeating ISIS. It’s Carson’s belief that war crimes should simply not exist. Civilians should be protected from heinous acts of aggression during wars, right? Wrong. “If you’re gonna have rules for war,” he tells us, “you should just have a rule that says no war. Other than that, we have to win.” With civilian deaths out of the equation, defeating ISIS becomes a whole lot easier. And that’s why Carson is willing to do whatever it takes to rediscover America’s cajones.


The last thing America needs is yet another president who’s out to steal our guns. We need someone who will put an end to the epidemic of gun violence in this nation. Someone who will “Not just stand there and let them shoot me” when armed gunman rampage innocent classrooms. Someone who believes in Americans enough to let them defend themselves from violent killers.


The problem with American politics today is that career politicians like Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush are far too corrupt to represent the best interests of the people. That’s why we need to adopt a revised way of thinking when we elect our politicians: elect people into office who have no political experience. But don’t be fooled. The most capable politicians are often the ones who aren’t afraid to ask for help—from advisors, assistants, and senior staff. We don’t have to sacrifice competence for honesty in politics. And we can expect plenty of both from future President Ben Carson.


The simple truth is that Ben Carson is a political visionary. He has just enough inexperience and moxie to rattle off offensive catchphrases and get away with it without having to be held accountable for it. American is long overdue to have someone with that type of fire in our White House. That’s why Dr. Ben Carson will overtake George W. Bush as the greatest president in modern American history, and that is why I will be entrusting him with my vote come next November.


The author's comments:

This is a satire piece regarding the 2016 Presidential Race. 


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