Have you noticed that voting and dating are practically the same thing? In the beginning, it seems like you have endless options for candidates to choose from, but in reality, you only have one or two, because the party you are a part of doesn’t support them,(your parents), or the big companies don’t want to fund their campaign, (so, their parents). And they all have huge, wonderful goals, like building a wall across the Mexican border, (it’ll be huuuuuge, they say), but your date never give any specifics, like where the money to build that wall will come from, (probably you), or how they intend to make Mexico pay for it. And, come, to mention it, neither dates nor presidential candidates seems to have any type of job either, aside from lounging around all day.

You’ve been dating for awhile now, and when you come home from work you see your date on the computer. They see you, their eyes go wide, and they make a few fast clicks. You storm over, furious to see what deception is unfolding. As you swivel around the computer, you see the message: 33,000 e-mails deleted. Anger, denial, and frustration follow, but somehow, they make it off the hook. Again.

Fast forward a little, and you finally get the big question: “Will you marry me?” “Will you vote for me?” A few months later, after three years of dating them, or listening to their campaign ads, you put on your smart tuxedo, or your tennis shoes, if you’re going to drive to the voting booth. You put a check next to the now president’s name, or put a ring on your now spouse’s finger, and you make a decision you realize you weren’t quite ready to make.