A Modest Proposal: A Satirical Solution for Gun Violence | Teen Ink

A Modest Proposal: A Satirical Solution for Gun Violence

November 11, 2016
By Jplow17 BRONZE, Freeland, Michigan
Jplow17 BRONZE, Freeland, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

FOR PREVENTING THE ESCALATION AND LONG TERM PERPETUATION OF

GUN CONTROL AND VIOLENCE


It is melancholy object to: Avoid the necessity to solve the problem of gun control Gun control has become a heated topic as of late due to mass shootings across the country and whether or not the laws currently in place are strict enough to keep guns out of the hands of the wrong people. And the way our young people act we’ll be headed for lots of potential gun violence and mass killing because our young people are stressed.


I think it is agreed by all parties that the life-threatening occurrence:  Because too many american citizens are losing their to the menace and threat to humanity that is guns that even in defense and public safety have the potential to take lives. People lose their lives everyday to this dredge of humanity “89 people die every day as a result of guns”(Donna M. Nickita 1) of 318.9 Million people 89 die each day which is a staggering amount compared to the U.S population a solution must be found to this horrific problem and be rewarded finely for their efforts to better humanity.


But my intention is far from being confined to provide for the betterment of: A massive and steep reduction in gun violence, crimes and guns overall allowing for a more peaceful america. Guns have become to prevalent in this day and age where “in the U.S alone there is 248-328 million guns”(Brian D 1) a number that needs some dire resizing.


As to my own part, I have studied the proposals of other projectors, and concluded that they are not nearly as efficient as they claim to be enforcing stricter gun laws like the Gun Control Act of 1968 that “protects” the citizen by not allowing those who are “ with mental illnesses or are an Unlawful persons or felons and or has been convicted past crimes or felonies cannot own or buy guns must pass and states all those who pass these tests must then clear a federal background check to purchase firearms” (Jane D. Hickey1).  This does not always work and is sometimes flawed because many times this system is overall bypassed by criminals because these nefarious urchins of society take or use these weapons of Metal-Death  from law abiding citizens who had begotten these dangerous weapons through the right and legal processes.


Or the militarization of police because “Police have now been fundamentally altered the balance of power between the citizen and the state in a way that would have been seen as constitutionally invalid by our founding fathers” (Radley Balko 272) Police Militarization is to almost give the police more power in the sense more weaponry means more deterrence which would indirectly mean that there would be less crime, Right?.. Wrong with a stronger hand in police more people would resist them, because they seem more like to harm than to help you causing riots like those in Baltimore, or Ferguson riots which only spikes the amount of gun violence across the United States.


I will now present my own idea, which I hope will not be subject to any disagreement. I humbly offer it to public consideration that humankind as a cohesive and cooperative unit should: Pass a law that would ban , retrieve and get rid of any guns out of the hands of all americans for the betterment of the many over the suffering of the few because in America only the majority matters.


In this scenario my plan would be efficient and easy because since it would be a law, you can't break the law because if you keep your Illegal guns you would become a criminal (Verbal Irony, you would already be a criminal so you wouldn't care) and it would be done by having registered gun dropoffs which would be at any government office or building, where you would drop off your gun and be checked off a list because all legal gun owners are registered by the gov’t.


Of course : It would be understandable that not a great many gun owners would be very happy to have their guns taken away from them, so that is where the second part of my brilliant plan comes in. All individuals who had turned in guns will then be reimbursed with their own government issued regulation sword to defend themselves with.. In doing so gun violence would plummet although the  amount of knife and sword killings would skyrocket, but that's not a problem right now.


These drastic and sudden changes: may be difficult to implement because as stated before that people may not want to give up their guns, but once they see the awesome and great potential of swords in domestic use and defense would gladly give up their firearms for a sword of their own.  The government would also have a hard time trying to find enough steel to make these swords, so they could use all the guns they had taken away to smelt and forge into brand new gleaming swords.


I can think of no valid objection that may be introduced to antagonize this proposal: You may think to yourself what if somebody has a gun they obtained illegally or made it themselves and is not documented? Well the answer is simple , there isn't any that's illegal  meaning nobody would do that, because they could get into trouble.


Again, no one should dare to suggest these notion to me until they have a small spark of hope these actions may be implemented.


It is not that Ido not respect the input of others on the subject of solutions to this topic but, simple that: I have been researching this topic longer than the second coming of christ and no one else in the world could possible no more than I and only I could know what's best for every single person in our great nation and this being the only solution. 

 

 

 

 

 

A Modest Proposal: A Satirical Solution for Gun Violence


FOR PREVENTING THE ESCALATION AND LONG TERM PERPETUATION OF
GUN CONTROL AND VIOLENCE


It is melancholy object to: Avoid the necessity to solve the problem of gun control Gun control has become a heated topic as of late due to mass shootings across the country and whether or not the laws currently in place are strict enough to keep guns out of the hands of the wrong people. And the way our young people act we’ll be headed for lots of potential gun violence and mass killing because our young people are stressed.


I think it is agreed by all parties that the life-threatening occurrence:  Because too many american citizens are losing their to the menace and threat to humanity that is guns that even in defense and public safety have the potential to take lives. People lose their lives everyday to this dredge of humanity “89 people die every day as a result of guns”(Donna M. Nickita 1) of 318.9 Million people 89 die each day which is a staggering amount compared to the U.S population a solution must be found to this horrific problem and be rewarded finely for their efforts to better humanity.


But my intention is far from being confined to provide for the betterment of: A massive and steep reduction in gun violence, crimes and guns overall allowing for a more peaceful america. Guns have become to prevalent in this day and age where “in the U.S alone there is 248-328 million guns”(Brian D 1) a number that needs some dire resizing.
As to my own part, I have studied the proposals of other projectors, and concluded that they are not nearly as efficient as they claim to be enforcing stricter gun laws like the Gun Control Act of 1968 that “protects” the citizen by not allowing those who are “ with mental illnesses or are an Unlawful persons or felons and or has been convicted past crimes or felonies cannot own or buy guns must pass and states all those who pass these tests must then clear a federal background check to purchase firearms” (Jane D. Hickey1).  This does not always work and is sometimes flawed because many times this system is overall bypassed by criminals because these nefarious urchins of society take or use these weapons of Metal-Death  from law abiding citizens who had begotten these dangerous weapons through the right and legal processes.


Or the militarization of police because “Police have now been fundamentally altered the balance of power between the citizen and the state in a way that would have been seen as constitutionally invalid by our founding fathers” (Radley Balko 272) Police Militarization is to almost give the police more power in the sense more weaponry means more deterrence which would indirectly mean that there would be less crime, Right?.. Wrong with a stronger hand in police more people would resist them, because they seem more like to harm than to help you causing riots like those in Baltimore, or Ferguson riots which only spikes the amount of gun violence across the United States.


I will now present my own idea, which I hope will not be subject to any disagreement. I humbly offer it to public consideration that humankind as a cohesive and cooperative unit should: Pass a law that would ban , retrieve and get rid of any guns out of the hands of all americans for the betterment of the many over the suffering of the few because in America only the majority matters.


In this scenario my plan would be efficient and easy because since it would be a law, you can't break the law because if you keep your Illegal guns you would become a criminal (Verbal Irony, you would already be a criminal so you wouldn't care) and it would be done by having registered gun dropoffs which would be at any government office or building, where you would drop off your gun and be checked off a list because all legal gun owners are registered by the gov’t.


Of course : It would be understandable that not a great many gun owners would be very happy to have their guns taken away from them, so that is where the second part of my brilliant plan comes in. All individuals who had turned in guns will then be reimbursed with their own government issued regulation sword to defend themselves with.. In doing so gun violence would plummet although the  amount of knife and sword killings would skyrocket, but that's not a problem right now.


These drastic and sudden changes: may be difficult to implement because as stated before that people may not want to give up their guns, but once they see the awesome and great potential of swords in domestic use and defense would gladly give up their firearms for a sword of their own.  The government would also have a hard time trying to find enough steel to make these swords, so they could use all the guns they had taken away to smelt and forge into brand new gleaming swords.


I can think of no valid objection that may be introduced to antagonize this proposal: You may think to yourself what if somebody has a gun they obtained illegally or made it themselves and is not documented? Well the answer is simple , there isn't any that's illegal  meaning nobody would do that, because they could get into trouble.


Again, no one should dare to suggest these notion to me until they have a small spark of hope these actions may be implemented.


It is not that Ido not respect the input of others on the subject of solutions to this topic but, simple that: I have been researching this topic longer than the second coming of christ and no one else in the world could possible no more than I and only I could know what's best for every single person in our great nation and this being the only solution. 


The author's comments:

This paper is about the need for a change in gun control and a solution to this grave problem


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