So excuse me Klu Klux Klan, but I just really think we shouldn’t teach our kids to hate other based on the color of their skin.

I mean, if anything, they should just hate each other based off their personalities.

But I digress. That’s a story for another day.

So racist people should not reproduce because there is always a chance they’ll pass down their beliefs to their kids and those kids will pass down their parents’ beliefs to their kids, etc., etc.

Now, I know what you’re saying.
Either:

A) I’m not racist!

or

B) If I want to pass down my racist, hopelessly outdated, politically incorrect beliefs down to my children, I can!

So let me address A) before B):


Um, everyone’s a little bit racist (Avenue Q reference FTW!). Okay, now I know that will make you say, “Aha! So if everyone’s racist, then no one should reproduce and therefore no one in the world should reproduce and if everyone listened to you, humanity would die out!” But what I’m talking about are people who are really, really racists. Like that water meter guy who came to our house one time and kept tossing around the “n-word”. As in, "When I was a kid, there werne't as many n-words as there are now."

It was very, very awkward.

So everyone makes assumptions based on race and that’s not entirely our fault. It’s the media’s fault who puts stereotypical characters on TV shows and films and we can’t just undo 50 plus years of programming. But we know that not all blacks are gangb***ers, not all Mexicans are border jumpers (WE’RE NOT!!!), not all Asians are geniuses, and not all whites are rich, stuck up pricks (Even though it seems that way).

But it’s not like we let those stereotypes determine who to buy a newspaper from (Another Avenue Q reference FTW). We generally keep those assumptions to ourselves and try to get to know people for who they really are.

And now onto B:

You have no right to corrupt the young mind of an infant. It should form it’s own opinion from an unbiased resource: television. That’s right, television. Because television only cares about about making money and getting the best ratings and winning Emmys and in conclusion, that’s the most unbiased opinion there is when raising your kids because it’s not trying to teach you something. It’s just trying to get your viewership.

Except PBS. They're trying to teach you something and get your money. They need your money so you should give it to them because I really like 'Arthur','Martha Speaks', and all those other educational shows. Those shows teach me moral values as well as good vocabulary. And they’re really good.


Oh!


And if you think I can’t stop you from reproducing, all I have to say to you is this:

I got a sledgehammer and a two by four.

I doubt anybody would miss you.

‘Cause you’re a racist.