The Truth About Being a Lesbian | Teen Ink

The Truth About Being a Lesbian

June 7, 2016
By Shcamoodels PLATINUM, Westover, West Virginia
Shcamoodels PLATINUM, Westover, West Virginia
24 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't like it, don't read it," said someone out there in the world once.


I am a girl.

I like other girls.

Nothing else to it but that.

No, I wasn’t born this way. No, someone didn’t turn me gay for the rest of my life. No, I’m not waiting for the perfect guy to come along and sweep me off my feet. Everything about me is natural.

Here’s the thing most people don’t understand about lesbians though: we didn’t get traumatized by an older man as a little kid and that’s why we only like girls. Although there are some cases like that out there—although I’d like to say there wasn’t—I’m sure they actually had to adapt to it by force because they were too scared to come near a guy. They didn’t choose the decision themselves. To them, they had to like girls. But every other lesbian just kind of started to favour girls over boys at some point in their life. Not by force, but by choice.

Another thing that people think is that we’re waiting for the right man or we’re just experimenting. That throws me over the edge. I know that there are some girls out there that are experimenting with other girls, trying to figure out their sexuality, and that’s good! But waiting for the right man?! How does that even make sense? ‘Oh I can’t get a man so I’ll just get myself a woman?’ I really don’t think that’s how it works. We’re lesbian because we don’t find interest in men, not because we’re waiting for a man to be interested in us.

Even though there are plenty of reasons why people think we’re lesbian, only one makes me the angriest: when people say it’s just a phase. Maybe for like 1% but for the the other 99% of us, no, it is not a phase. Some have already gotten married and probably have kids or something! You call that a stage? That’s like me telling a straight girl that they’re actually supposed to like girls and that no men will ever want her, no matter how much they may say they love her. That being straight is ‘just a phase’ and that she needs to get herself a girlfriend before it gets too out of hand. You tell me, is that really just a phase?

Now, going into probably the most touchiest subject on the planet for anybody, the part when bullying happens. Now, I do not encourage it and when it does happen—if it does—it is not okay. Gay or not. But there are some people out there that think they’re above the rules and can do whatever they want. That they can make fun of us gays for liking the same sex. Those people are not only called homophobes, but jerks as well.

Some of those homophobes physically hurt us by pushing or kicking or punching, thinking that they can beat the gay out of us. Others will verbally hurt us by calling us the q-word and the f-word. I don’t say them because to me, they are extremely offensive. And for many of us gays, we don’t do anything about it. We go home, cry it out, and pray for tomorrow to be better. After a while, it becomes an endless cycle up until the point where we can no longer feel anything.

Me? I’ve never personally experienced major bullying. It was always something minor from some guy at my school who was brainwashed into thinking that all gays should die. I used to know him before he was brainwashed. He was nice.

One day, he went up to me and started to say something rude and I told him to go get a boyfriend just as a joke, you know? He took it the complete wrong way and said that he’s not a disgusting f-word like me. That was the most offensive thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

 

Another thing is that when we come out, people think that Satan has gotten the best of us or something crazy like that. That we can just pray it away and then in the morning after downing a gallon of holy salt water, everything will be better. Or they believe that God has taken a toll on us. Something irrational like that. Things that don’t even make sense.

Some people actually end up self-harming because they hate themselves. Whether it be from bullying or not being accepted into the family, they self-harm themselves for something that they think is their fault but really isn’t. Cutting is a big one and they would do it because they’re gay. As if, liking the same sex is such a sin that they feel the need to punish themselves for it.

I won’t sugar-coat it, I have cut before. I had just gotten my first girlfriend and kind of came out to everyone. They all supported me but my mom just kind of gave off this feeling that it was wrong. So I cut, got attention, got dumped after my first kiss with her, got meds. It was awful.

Soon enough, I learned to love myself for who I am.

I am a girl.

I like other girls.

Nothing else to it.


The author's comments:

If there is anyone out there that is self harming, please talk to someone. I may not know you, but I'm here for you. Or if you're struggling to come out, I'm also here for you. Just remember that even if it seems like there's no one out there that loves you, there really is.


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This article has 15 comments.


on Apr. 22 2022 at 6:51 pm
living-dead-girl-666 PLATINUM, Coffeyville, Kansas
27 articles 1 photo 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
The roses are wilted<br /> The violets are dead<br /> The demons run circles<br /> Round and round inside my head

I love how much you explained everything, its very sad what some gays go through and hope that if your going through something thought that you stay strong,loves

on Jan. 8 2022 at 6:00 am
Magical_Badger BRONZE, Nairobi, Other
1 article 5 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke."<br /> (A Series of Unfortunate Events)

Thank you so much for writing this. I realized just a couple months ago that I like a girl, and I am fortunate to have friends and family who support me but I know that for others, coming out and dealing with homophobia can be really hard. It's not a phase, it's not just for attention, and people need to understand that. 🏳️‍🌈

on Mar. 14 2018 at 3:43 pm
Crimson_Vitali BRONZE, St. Paul, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Loyal to few, ruled by none.&quot;

Even though I've never put a label on myself, i like girls. I've had to rewire my brain for years to actually plan a dream wedding with a woman. Looking at my pinetrest, noticed that all of my wedding pins were designed for a masculine energy (Ties, tuxes etc...) It's weird how you can have discriminatory thoughts about your own lifestyle...

on Jun. 16 2016 at 8:31 am
Maculate_Dream DIAMOND, Riverside, California
71 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
I have not failed, I just found 10,000 ways to not succeed.<br /> <br /> All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.

I didn't really understand much about these types of people, it's just a brand new perspective that you showed me that really change how I think about them. And you do deserve these nice comments, you did receive editor's choice after all. Be proud that you did this article, it deserves it.

on Jun. 15 2016 at 10:50 am
Shcamoodels PLATINUM, Westover, West Virginia
24 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Don&#039;t like it, don&#039;t read it,&quot; said someone out there in the world once.

Oh my goodness... You all need to stop with these nice comments I'm blushing too much and the waterworks are coming, heh. I was always told my whole life that I need to do this or that with my stories and when I post this one here it's just like a whole new beginning. The way you guys treat me is too nice. And would you care to all me how I "opened up your eyes more" by reading this article, @Maculate_Dream ?

on Jun. 14 2016 at 10:40 am
XxGhostRyderxX SILVER, Davenport, Washington
5 articles 1 photo 7 comments
For some reason, I can't see your bio.... I don't know why but anyways email me here bringonthefight8900 at gmail

on Jun. 14 2016 at 10:36 am
XxGhostRyderxX SILVER, Davenport, Washington
5 articles 1 photo 7 comments
Aight! Will do! Btw, if it wasn't good then your story wouldn't be editors choice. XD So stop downing yourself so much!

on Jun. 14 2016 at 12:01 am
Maculate_Dream DIAMOND, Riverside, California
71 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
I have not failed, I just found 10,000 ways to not succeed.<br /> <br /> All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.

I'm so glad I took the time to read this article, it was enjoyable to me and really interesting and made me open my eyes more than I have before. You are a great writer, keep it up with this amazing work.

on Jun. 13 2016 at 6:09 pm
Shcamoodels PLATINUM, Westover, West Virginia
24 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Don&#039;t like it, don&#039;t read it,&quot; said someone out there in the world once.

You should e-mail me so that we can talk more. It seems to me that you like my stories a lot. And from what I read on your bio (not a stalker lol) you have a lot in common. My email will be on my bio.

on Jun. 13 2016 at 6:04 pm
Shcamoodels PLATINUM, Westover, West Virginia
24 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Don&#039;t like it, don&#039;t read it,&quot; said someone out there in the world once.

Oh my gawd... Stahp... You're making me blush... I know this story was good but not THAT good... Although thanks a lot. I do appreciate the fact that someone admires my work as much as you do.

on Jun. 13 2016 at 11:39 am
XxGhostRyderxX SILVER, Davenport, Washington
5 articles 1 photo 7 comments
Course you do! This relates to so many people is so many ways. I also sent this to a lot of my friends. This deserves a lot of recognition!! XD

on Jun. 11 2016 at 7:30 pm
Shcamoodels PLATINUM, Westover, West Virginia
24 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Don&#039;t like it, don&#039;t read it,&quot; said someone out there in the world once.

Oh you're welcome! I know how it feels to be told that it's just a phase so...

on Jun. 10 2016 at 7:03 pm
sassy_scribe_777 BRONZE, Bellingham, Washington
3 articles 5 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
Friends are God&#039;s way of apologizing to us for our families.

My mother is constantly saying, "Oh, it is just a phase. By next year, all of the gays will be getting divorced, and the whole bathroom ordeal will be long forgotten," and it bugs me so much when she says this, so thanks for including that piece.

on Jun. 10 2016 at 4:24 pm
Shcamoodels PLATINUM, Westover, West Virginia
24 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Don&#039;t like it, don&#039;t read it,&quot; said someone out there in the world once.

OMG! I don't deserve that! Thanks though!

on Jun. 10 2016 at 12:00 pm
XxGhostRyderxX SILVER, Davenport, Washington
5 articles 1 photo 7 comments
I literally used all three of my accounts to like this because it was that good! I really can relate! XD Thanks for this by the way! There is a lot of exclamation points... Oops?