As a student creeps towards high school graduation, not a day goes by where they don’t think about the next big step in life, college.

College is what is dreamt about constantly because everyone wants to make sure they go about this step the correct way. However, once they get there they realize that it’s a lot more challenging than they had originally thought. Problems like money, finding a place to live, organizing a schedule, and relationships keep popping up. Therefore, it's painfully brought to their attention that they have never had to deal with these issues before because their parents were there to make sure everything was done for them. It becomes obvious that college is going to be difficult without mom and dad there to do it all with, or even worse, for them. The effects on children that are raised by parents who hand-hold them through everything are negative and create unhealthy emotional attachments.  Unfortunately, this creates bad habits for kids that will ultimately be carried into adulthood, continuing to leave them unprepared for life.

This style of parenting has many different names that all give an image of their own. One of the more common terms is helicopter parenting. Others include snowplow parents, lawnmower parents, and bulldozer parents. I’m sure there are many more terms for this style of parenting but no matter what it’s called they all share a similar image. For the term helicopter parenting, it seems as if the parents are a helicopter, hovering over the child and watching over all that they do. Other terms like snowplow, lawnmower, and bulldozer all share a similar image where the parents are the object mowing down or pushing away any obstacles for the children paving the way so that the journey for the child is as easy as possible. The more professional term for this style of parenting is cosseting parenting. There is a range of definitions for this term but Ned Dymoke in an article on June 18th, 2018 really hit the nail on the head when he described it as “the practice of hovering over your kids and watching everything they do, constantly worrying about whether they'll make a slight misstep in life.” These parents mean well but it ends up hurting their child in the long run. One of the mistakes that is made when viewing helicopter parenting is that people view it as having a close relationship with their children. A parent is able to have a strong relationship with their kids without being overly involved. Since that misconception is made, people don’t look down on helicopter parenting as much as they should.

The negative effects of helicopter parenting can start as soon as elementary school. With parents being over-involved, the children develop resilience towards them. The parents push all the problems out of the way and the parents let the child run their lives. The child realizes that it's easy to get mom and dad to do what they want so they expect their parents to do what they want, and when they want. This is a bad routine for a child to get into because it will follow them into adulthood. A study was conducted by the American Psychological Association on September 17th, 2017 and a leader of the study stated, "Our research showed that children with helicopter parents may be less able to deal with the challenging demands of growing up, especially with navigating the complex school environment," said Nicole B. Perry, Ph.D., from the University of Minnesota. She also pointed out, "Children who cannot regulate their emotions and behavior effectively are more likely to act out in the classroom, to have a harder time making friends and to struggle in school." These studies clearly show a negative effect of helicopter parenting that can stick with a child throughout their lives.

Habits like these can carry into later schooling like high school and college. Some of the things a parent will do when their child is at that age include, not allowing teens to make age-appropriate choices, cleaning a teen’s room for them, stepping in to negotiate conflicts between a teen and their friends, overseeing a high school student’s homework, monitoring a teen’s diet and exercise, sending multiple texts each day to a child away at college, and intervening in a teen’s life to prevent them from failing at a task or project. Helicopter parents tend to have really close relationships with their children but that can lead to an emotional attachment as they become so used to doing everything with their parents. That emotional attachment can really hit hard when the kid finally goes off to college and even into early adulthood. Then all of the sudden they don’t have their parents with to hold their hand through everything and they have a tough time in school. According to Amy Morin, a doctor in psychology, in an article on August 22nd, 2017 she stated “...there are some long-term ramifications of this approach to parenting, primary among them being that kids aren't learning how to become mentally strong adults. Instead, they're staying dependent on their parents.” She states it clearly here and throughout the rest of her article that children struggle when the time comes to leave home. The children of helicopter parents might do well on paper but time will show that the effects are detrimental.

Problem-solving is one of the issues that will show right away. If a parent is constantly doing everything for their child at a young age they will develop the “Mom and dad will just do it for me” mentality. A mentality like that will stay with them throughout their life until the parent puts an end to it. These children have also been shielded from all problems so when they actually encounter a problem that they need to face on their own they are unable to handle it. Helicopter parents also shy away from discipline so when a child reacts in a poor way, there isn't much they feel they can do, thus the child sees it as acceptable. When these children reach their teenage years they can continue to struggle with problem-solving which can make life more challenging. An article from the Newport Academy on March 9th, 2018 states “...overprotective, controlling parents limit teens’ opportunities to build the essential skills that help them flourish as adults. Thus, it’s no surprise that research reveals the negative effects of helicopter parenting on teen identity formation.” From this research, I have concluded that helicopter parents prevent their children from becoming fully functioning adults and it hurts in the long run.

Everyone wants to feel prepared for the real world, but with parents over inserting themselves and acting for their child can make the life of their a lot more difficult. Experts have concluded that there are serious long term effects of this style of parenting. They are also doing what they can to make sure people know that this style of parenting may seem like it is in the child’s best interest, but will end up hurting them in the long run. I am working to share the word because this is something that I believe in. Being able to notice when something becomes a problem is really the struggle in life, but we still need to put forth the effort to raise a more prepared generation, now and in the future.