A letter to what could have been ……..

I have been drooling over everything that went wrong with us, reading every text, listening to all voice notes, recalling every date, every kiss, every hug to project where it all went haywire. I kept obsessing over little things that you did and made it a part of my routine. A habit. A carelessness. I went over every fight even though each time I try to recall it but I had to figure out where it all collapsed and it did at the very beginning.

We were screwed up from the start. Just two people in the curiosity of love always labelling us as “lets see where it goes” but the truth is that we were both not ready.

I considered myself the bravest for opening up to you, every flesh wound was kept before you but I considered myself an idiot when I couldn’t heal yours. I wanted to fix you. To fix us. I blamed myself for not making you overcome your insecurities, your past, even for ruining your present.

We both ignored a million red flags while we could have simply worked on them and made it work.

The night it all came to an end was the night I realized how much you were onto me. Under my skin. And that’s when I realized that we were a real thing.

So today I decide to stop wasting another drop of ink on our past. Every poem I write cant be about you no more.

You were my first love and I can’t forget that. Maybe we were just meant to be and not made to last Maybe we cross paths someday but till then I want to give myself another chance to fall for someone else. To fall for myself. Because I guess I was in love just not at the perfect time.

…….my soulmate