The conclusions of movies have become all too predictable for many of us: a tearful fight, some melodramatic declaration of love, and a happy couple riding off into the sunset with sappy background music playing. Such exultant endings make us feel content at the moment, but as soon as the picture fades to black and the music dwindles, many of us are left comparing this happy finale to our own.
But what exactly constitutes a happy ending in today’s society? Some idealistic image of us with our significant other blissfully strolling into the darkness with a clichéd pop song serenading us?
In this scenario, our significant other is viewed as a person who can make us happier than we could ever be if we were to remain alone. It’s no secret that the vast majority of us spend an abundance of time searching for this person. However, today’s media has set exceedingly high standards for this individual, convincing us that if they do not meet these impossibly high standards, then they do not truly love us. This, in turn, results in people jettisoning others simply because they do not match the image that movies have placed in our minds.
This image of romanticized love is gradually causing dissatisfaction in relationships. We are led to believe that if someone does not run onto an airplane at the last second and give a monologue over the intercom, then it’s not true love. If someone does not organize a flash mob or get a group of a cappella singers to serenade us, if they do not throw rocks at our window or jump on top of our cars just to tell us they love us, then they could not possibly be our true love. And if they do not do these grand gestures to show us that they love us, then we cannot possibly be happy with them right?
Wrong. This mentality is one that scripted movies have instilled within us, teaching us that what we may have with another person is not enough. Moreover, this mentality has set impossibly high standards for our significant other, making it an impossible feat to please us. How can we possibly be satisfied with what we have when we are bombarded with images (fictional ones, to be clear) that make our current situation seem mediocre?
Consequently, this leads to unhappiness and miscommunication in relationships. We expect the other person to simply “understand” us and perform these over dramatic signals of love. These problems are not only the cause of despondency in relationships, but can also be a serious factor of the nation’s disturbingly high divorce rate. People are convinced that if there are even a few problems, then the relationship is not meant to be. As a result, they end the relationship. However, this is not reality.
The artificial happiness seen in movies is one that has been formulated by several screenwriters, actors, and props. While it may seem to be ideal, it is empty inside and lacks any emotional depth. Just as the couple depicted on the urn in John Keat’s Ode on a Grecian Urn may seem to be beautifully content, they are not able to touch each other or talk to each other. The boy is told, “bold lover, never, never canst thou kiss,/Though winning near the goal—yet do not grieve;/She cannot fade, though thou hast not thy bliss,/For ever wilt thou love, and she will be fair!” (Keats 1). They are frozen in this seemingly flawless situation, yet they have no tangible relationship. Yet, the boy is told to be cheerful because her beauty will always remain, so they will continue to appear joyful and picturesque to onlookers. This is the problem with allowing the media to influence what relationships should be like. The relationships in movies may appear to be ideal, but they have no depth and the lack a genuine connection.
Nobody wants to hear the truth, which is that these cinematic relationships are ludicrously unrealistic. We cannot possibly expect a “real” person to live up to Channing Tatum’s character or Meghan Fox’s character. Those people have been given scripts, spent time rehearsing, and have been paid to act. Furthermore, these actors are literally manufactured— merely final products of an absurd amount of money poured into workouts, diets, make-up, costumes, and more. In real life, people must sacrifice their own time and energy to be with another person and care for them. And that in itself should be enough for us.
This mindset of always wanting more will eventually destroy the sanctity of all relationships if we do not get a reality check. Perhaps your significant other will not give a speech in front of strangers about how much they love you. There may not be romantic music or a video montage in the background. There will, however, be disagreements that require work. There will be arguments, compromise, and forgiveness—things that will ultimately result in a stronger connection.
Relationships, no matter what kind, require work and communication. As T.S. Eliot articulates about writing poetry in “Tradition and the Individual Talent”, “there is a great deal, in the writing of poetry, which must be conscious and deliberate” (Eliot 10). Simply put, one must be in touch with reality to create a poetic masterpiece. It takes deliberate work in order to produce a fine work of art, just as it takes hard work to form a loving relationship. We must remain conscious of reality and act deliberately rather than get distracted by the false ideas presented to us by the media. At the end of it all, there will eventually be cheerfulness. But in order to achieve this, we must first accept that real love is not like the movies and then we must learn to recognize the value of what we have.
At the end of movies, the screen fades to black and the actors walk away from each other, alone. We need a dose of reality before our futures become imitative of that. We must work through problems that arise rationally and learn to appreciate people as they are. Then and only then will we get our happy ending. And instead of everything fading to black, the future will shine brighter than that theatrical setting sun ever could, illuminating the joy ahead.