The deed. The birds and the bees. Doing the do. The Nasty. Sex.

It is not a word one often hears from educators in a high school setting, if at all. When sex is mentioned, it is done so in an uncomfortably obligatory fashion, much like the gym coach (who doubled as the health teacher) in Mean Girls, yelling, “Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant, and die!” Sadly, Tina Fey’s take on America’s sexual education system isn’t all that far-fetched.  Information on sex— an act that can simultaneously serve as the most frightening and most exciting event for a teenager— is completely absent from high schools, an environment that otherwise encourages curiosity and the pursuit of learning. Even though they may be too proud to show it, teens are clueless as to how sex works, what to do, and what not to do. For them, sex is a mystical being, much like a unicorn or a non-corrupt politician. They are then left with the task of answering their own questions, consulting Internet pornography and lewd middle school jokes for assistance. Needless to say, their knowledge far from resembles expertise. Fruitless information from educators and a lack of guidance from parents create harmful misconceptions amongst high school students regarding the anatomy of their bodies, the importance of consent, and the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases.

The general approach to sexual education in American schools revolves around the idea of “Abstinence Only Until Marriage.” The premise of this approach is fairly self-explanatory: teenagers are persuaded not to have sex until they are married. This method seems simple enough, until you realize that when discussing a topic as complex as sexual education, a simple approach is not a logical solution.

Promoting abstinence has been shown to be extremely inefficient and is an ignorant solution created by those who believe that putting an issue out of sight means it no longer exists. In the face of our modern, progressive society, it is easy to assume that the days of “Waiting ‘Til Marriage” propaganda are coming to a close. Even I make the mistake of associating that mindset with my mother’s generation, until I recognize the more subtle ways in which those same ideas are promoted by my own education system. In fact, abstinence education will only become more prominent in the coming years. When sex ed is taught, only 17 states require curriculum on contraceptives, as compared to a whopping 37 states that mandate a focus on abstinence (Lowen). In 2016, the Trump administration increased the budget for Abstinence Only sex education—which has been shown time and time again to be ineffective in its key goal—to $85 million per year. According to Advocates for Youth, roughly half of all American high school students and 62% of high school seniors are already sexually active. Therefore, an abstinence-only approach falls on deaf ears and fails to impact the decisions teenagers are making, or compensate for the decisions that have already been made.

Although a staggering number of teens are sexually active across the United States, only 24 states and Washington, D.C. require sex education in all of their schools. The average high school health course allocates less than four hours for discussing both pregnancy prevention and STDs, instead choosing to repeat the dreaded logic of the Mean Girls gym teacher. In 87 percent of high schools, guardians are allowed to exclude their children from even this coursework. For far too many students, the extent of their knowledge depends almost entirely on a brief condom-on-a-banana demonstration, and whatever knowledge their parents offer.

These parents take high offense whenever it is suggested that teachers, along with presenting the facts of history and natural science, also foster an environment for their children to learn the facts about sex. They insist that they will discuss it with their children when they decide the time is right. But who is to say that these parents know anything more about safe sex than their children? They themselves were likely never properly educated on sexual health.

On the other hand, it is fairly common for “The Talk,” as it is so lovingly referred to, to never even occur. My mother has, to this day, never sat me down to discuss the birds and the bees. Now that I am seventeen, I doubt she ever will. I’m a responsible person, and I was always an observant kid; my mom never felt the need to tell me anything I had already figured out for myself, and that she knew I’d be smart about. Many of my peers’ parents followed the same logic. With the advent of social media and Internet pornography (Dastagir), it’s easy for parents to assume that their children have, in one way or another, seen everything they need in order to bypass the discussion that is so mutually dreaded. But the lack of a discussion leads to an inner conflict between what these children feel and see online, which often fosters dangerous habits and misconceptions toward sexuality as a whole. Parents who suddenly scramble onto a high horse when faced with their kids learning about sex, must recognize that the knowledge a trained professional has in the topics of sex ed is much deeper than their own, and will create a safer environment for the younger generations.

Enter the educators, here to save the well-being of the blissfully ignorant youth. In New York, basic sexual education and the details of safe sex are required curriculum for high schoolers (“The Talk”). Luckily for these students, many common misconceptions toward sex that they might otherwise fall prey to are dismantled by experts. Others, however, are not as lucky, for states without adequate sexual education foster generations of students who perpetuate some of the most harmful and embarrassing misconceptions.

Teens truthfully don’t know the details of their own anatomy or that of the other sex, let alone how to cater to each of their needs. There are horror stories across the Internet of those who lived blissfully ignorant of their anatomy for years, and who shared the frightful things they believed when they were a teenager. These include girls thinking they both urinate and menstruate out of their vagina, and boys who had those same misconceptions. There is also the belief that women are unable to get pregnant on their period, or that if a condom happens to slip off for a short time during sex, a baby is bound to be made. Still others feel as though condoms aren’t necessary, and desperately search for any work-around imaginable. Out of the 23 states that mandate sex ed, only 13 states are required to cover medically accurate information in their curriculum (“You Don’t Know…”). As a result, almost a third of female college students are unable to accurately locate the anatomy of their own sex organs on a provided diagram, with male’s chances being similarly grim.

Within the last decade, the issue of sexual assault has begun to face its reckoning, and rightly so. Teenagers, especially young men, form their opinions toward what is not only acceptable, but socially expected, of their sexual prowess. Without proper guidance, these young men do not fully understand the implications of their actions, and mask their uncertainty by flashing their power. Only eight states and the District of Columbia require mention of sexual assault or consent in their sex ed programs. Thanks to major news coverage and the #MeToo movement, teens have been exposed now more than ever to the negative consequences of misunderstanding consent. However, the majority of students who are learning from current events are those who have the resources to do so and access to quality news (“Known but not discussed...”). The American public school system owes it to the students who are unable to educate themselves in their free time to provide them a steady foundation of knowledge. In many cases, the ways in which young people irresponsibly and harmfully treat themselves and others in sexual situations are founded on a lack of understanding of what constitutes assault and consent. According to a survey conducted by Harvard's Making Caring Common (MCC) project, about 60% of young people have never had a discussion with their parents about the meaning of consent, and the importance of making sure a sexual partner is able to agree to have sex and feels comfortable doing so (Diebel). In an age where children are forming their views of right and wrong in the world, it is important to lay a basis of stories, statistics, and other educational resources to encourage that the healthiest views possible are formed.

Perhaps the most threatening misconception amongst uninformed high schoolers is the belief that, when a girl is taking birth control, a condom is not needed during intercourse (“Birth Control FAQ”). This notion has grown exponentially more common throughout the past few years, as birth control has become more acceptable and accessible for teenage girls. This could not be any further from the truth. Sure, getting pregnant is a valid concern that teenagers have if they’re sexually active, and birth control is one of the most popular safeguards against it. However, just because one hurdle seemingly disappears thanks to birth control, does not mean other, more serious consequences cease to exist. The most harrowing of these consequences are sexually transmitted diseases. Data released by the CDC in late summer 2018 shows that, in 2017, gonorrhea cases increased 67 percent: infections among men almost doubled, and cases in women increased for the third year straight. Syphilis diagnoses increased 76 percent last year, with a majority of infections being in bisexual or gay men. The most common STD, chlamydia, was also on the rise, with almost half of the cases being in women aged 15 to 24 (Thompson). If left untreated, these diseases can harm one’s fertility, cause stillbirth and other complications in pregnancy, and increase a person's risk of contracting HIV. These STDs are curable with antibiotics, but due to a lifetime of misinformation or no information, too few young people recognize their symptoms for what they are or are too embarrassed to seek treatment. They need an environment, led by a professional on these topics, which allows them to be curious about such a traditionally taboo topic. As they highlight the idea that STI’s are nothing to be ashamed of, teens will become more open to discussing their sexual health with others, and hopefully dampen the toll these diseases are taking on American youth lately.

Sex doesn’t need to be an embarrassing or taboo discussion, for adults and teenagers alike. Although public education systems such as that of New York are far more progressive in their approach to sexual education than many of their counterparts, theirs are still far from perfect. At the moment, it is immensely difficult for any state to ensure that laws regarding classroom content such as this are strictly followed. Adults don’t enjoy coming to terms with the fact that their children, their students, do indeed have sex. As a result, they resort to abstinence time and time again, even though that does nothing more than breed a culture of misled teenagers. In the meantime, it is crucial that students take the proper steps to inform themselves, and that parents and legislators alike begin to realize that ignoring this discussion doesn’t mean that teenagers won’t have sex. It simply means teenagers will continue having sex, but won’t go about it in the correct ways, because they’ve never been given a better example. Most importantly, educators must lobby for their ability— their privilege—to teach these topics, and to transform the health and livelihood of their pupils.