Around 40-50% of families in the United States divorce. It is hard going through tough problems within your family, especially when you can not stop them and do not contribute to the issues. I know this from first-hand experience. 

I was born in Asheville, North Carolina in a relatively stable household. My father was a pharmacist and my mother stayed home and stayed with the children. When I was born I already had a half-sister, eventually, two years later my brother was born, and two years after my brother, my sister was born. So growing up I was raised with 4 other kids, it must have been tough on my mom and dad. All in all my childhood was pretty good. 

I saw the apparent flaws in my family. Everybody was growing apart. So due to that, I had become in touch with my own thoughts. There were frequent arguments and I have to admit they were tough to listen to. Hearing and seeing the hatred within your parent’s hurts. After months of my mom and dad isolating each other, they moved on. Me, my brother, and my sister lived with our dad and we did not often get to see our mom. It was tough, but after around 6 months we got to live with our mom and we have never gone back since. I do not know what happened to my father, but I am content with my life right now.

I would constantly think “Is it my fault?”, “What did I do wrong?” but after deep thinking, I determined there was nothing I could do to change what had passed. I was, for the most part, the best person I could be at the time. If you go through the same problems just know it is not you that is the problem. So eventually, I begin to wonder, “So what was the problem?” I thought and I came to the conclusion that my parents were not committed to each other, did not trust one another, and they were both tired of the ongoing conflict/arguing that had been present. This is the cause of divorce in many other families as well. According to a recent survey of 191 CDFA professionals from across North America, the three leading causes of divorce are "basic incompatibility" (43%), "infidelity" (28%), and "money issues" (22%). 

There is a good quote that I have found by Jennifer Weiner, it is “ Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” If you are a victim of your parent's divorce just know that it was for the best. They moved on for a reason. If they stayed together with all of the compounded hatred over the years it would get worse. 

In summary, it is hard to go through your parent's divorce. The people that you loved most are now taken away from each other. It creates a sense of emptiness, something is missing in your life. But there is no point in being hopeless, learn how to take these things into a positive. The separation is for the best.