The Never-Ending Struggle of Psychological Abuse

Trapped in your mind. Self-loathing. Being told you’re crazy. Thinking you’ve lost your mind. All of your emotions are undercut. Thinking you’re not valid. These are things victims of emotional abuse feel every day. 

“There are many types of emotional abuse but most is done in an attempt to control or subjugate another person. Emotional abuse is like brainwashing in that it systematically wears away the victim’s sense of self confidence, sense of self, trust in her perceptions and self concept.” - Beverly Engel. There are different types of emotional or psychological abuse, often experienced alongside other types of abuse. Many people who have been in an abusive relationship have experienced emotional abuse alongside physical abuse. People also report that the amounts of emotional abuse coincide with the amount of physical abuse they experience. People in abusive relationships often don’t feel justified talking about them, so they keep their mouths shut. The abusers undermine the person’s emotions and thoughts or retell the story to make them feel uncomfortable; they often use acts of warmth or kindness to prevent the victim from realizing the abuse or confuse them. 91% of abuse survivors experienced some psychological abuse in their relationship; making insults seem like jokes, gaslighting, and retelling stories. Emotional abusers subtly make the victim feel uncomfortable. 48% of those people also had restrictions on who they talked to, spent time with, and were constantly being told they were mentally unstable. 

“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious. In fact, among women who have experienced violence half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what’s causing them the greatest harm.” -Lundy Bancroft. Emotional abuse is not as thought of when people think about domestic abuse; however, is it just as, if not more, important to talk about. It can often be experienced alongside other types of abuse; however, its effects should be taken seriously on their own. The scars that emotional abuse can leave last a long time and can leave you with mental health issues that will affect you in the future; it is used to keep power and control over someone. Emotional abuse can impact your self-esteem, confidence and make you feel anxious, depressed, and possibly suicidal. These are all effects of the different strategies that emotional abusers use. 

Not only is this simply a “problem,” but it is also a direct violation of human rights. According to the UDHR list of universal human rights, all people have a right to be safe and secure. How can you feel safe and secure if you are not safe in your own home? Another article it connects to is the declaration on the elimination of violence against women; obviously, domestic abuse happens to all genders; however, most people who have been affected are women.“’ Violence against women means any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women” -UDHR. 

“Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. Worse! You can heal broken bones; you can’t heal a broken mind.” - Dia Reeves. Physical abuse is a huge problem that we should address. However, this does not mean it is more important than emotional or psychological abuse. Emotional abuse damages your mental health and has long-term, lasting effects. Meanwhile, physical abuse can also damage your mental health; this is primarily due to the emotional aspects. 

“The order disappeared. Turmoil began. A look at herself in the mirror and she broke down. ‘Help yourself or you’ll continue to feel the guilt of things that you’ve not even done!’//say NO to emotional abuse//” - Sneha Acharecar