Remember to be nice. Don’t block people. But don’t, like, be too nice. You can’t invite everyone over. Don’t invite no one over, though. Remember to dress nice when we go out. No, that’s all wrong. You have so many clothes! Use them. You’re a free spirit? Sure. But, don’t neglect your grades. I’m happy with whatever you get, just try hard. Ohmigosh, is that a B?! I’m so disappointed in you. That dress is showing your stomach. Suck it in. No, put a pillow over it. But,you know, you’re beautiful. Beauty comes from within. Just, don’t eat candy, OK? Or dessert. Why can’t you just stay away? You submitted? Oh, I’m so proud! That piece was too personal! Why don’t you show these things to someone? You’re nervous? Shake it off! If I’m there you’ll be nervous? I won’t come. Fine. But really, what’s the matter? I am so proud of you though. You’re so great. But you should’ve studied more! You can’t show up unprepared. You wanna sign up for dance? Ok! Let’s do at least three classes. No, four. Gotta be well-rounded. Why were you looking at everyone at the recital? Didn’t you LEARN anything? You can do the play, or sports. But studies matter more. Be a lady in public. No, I’m not sexist. But some manners would be nice. You call yourself a feminist? How great! Everyone’s equal! But, like, you’ve never had a crush? Oh, everyone has a crush. Do you want to marry a girl? A guy? No, I’m just curious. It’s OK to be curious some, you know. Just, like, not too curious. We don’t have all the answers. Be nice. Be curious. You know, you’re my baby. My girl. We LOVE you! You’re so lucky! Be happy. But also be good. Ladylike. Not, like a rebel. But not, like, puffed sleeves. Speaking of, what’s with your fashion sense? It’s, like, not girly. Remember to be you! Nothing else matters. You are you. No one can take that away. But remember these things. First impressions are important. They matter a lot. You do too! But don’t forget about them.

Boys have no idea how lucky they are.