Adoption



For me, adoption is a very sensitive topic, for I, myself, am an adoptee. There are many confusions regarding adoption that most people believe to be true. These misunderstandings that many people have about adoption vex me, and I would be more than happy to clear up these confusions.



Firstly, I am priceless. One does not buy a child, for he/she is not property that is owned. Of course there can be substantial travel expenses and administrative fees that are associated with adopting a child, but that absolutely does not mean the child is being bought. Although the way in which one becomes a parent differs for biological and non-biological parents, there are no significant differences between a family with an adopted child and a family with a birth child.



Secondly, once a child is adopted, the adopter is their real parent or guardian, not to be confused with their biological parents. Whenever I tell someone I am adopted they ask, "do you know your real parents?" Yes, I know my real parents, but no, I don't know my biological parents. Another question that is often asked after I state that I have a sister who is also adopted is "is she your real sister?" To which I respond with: yes, of course she is my real sister; however, we are not biological relatives. It is very frustrating when people are baffled that I call my non-biological parents my real parents. What else could they possible be, my fake parents? The definition of a parent is "a protector or guardian;" therefore, my non-biological parents are my real parents, for the definition includes nothing regarding blood relation.



Lastly, my birth parents did not put me up for adoption because they did not want me. My birth parents realized that the only way I could have a good life was if they abandoned me so I could be put up for adoption. They loved me so much they were willing to lose me so I would have the opportunity to live a better life than I would have with them. However, some very ignorant people do not understand this and will ask, "why did your parents put you up for adoption? Did they not want you?" That is one of the most insensitive questions that could be asked. Of course my parents wanted me. Once a child is born and the mother/father holds him/her for the very first time, an unfathomable bond is created through a deep love that seems to just spontaneously appear. I can't even imagine the pain that ensues abandoning one's own child.



In conclusion, many people are naive in regard to adoption, and because of their naiveté, their commentary may be perceived as offensive without that being intended. It is far wiser to ask questions about matters in which one is not an expert, so as to avoid accidental upsetting. When people assume certain conclusions, things tend to become further complicated and people are offended unintentionally. Thus, I have written this article in order to aid in debunking delusions regarding adoption.