Star Gazing
Looking up all I could see was just a pile of stars. In my short range of vision lies stars in more number than I can possibly imagine. Looking at them all, still and perfect, and vast beyond my ability to comprehend, I felt entirely humble. Planets, stars, nebulae, galaxies, and whatever else may lay suspended in space, seem timeless. These titans of existence have always been around since mankind looked up in wonder at what surrounds our planet. As far and as disconnected as these objects are, we are one in the same. The cosmic forces that drive the orbits of the planets, and the chemical fusion that burns bright within stars all occur separate, but with me. I am affected by gravity just as much as any star or planet. We are even made of the same material. All metals and complicated molecules formed from the heat and pressures of stars compressing atoms together into new chemicals, then exploding and dispersing their creations across the universe. All matter everywhere, was at one point one single particle. If you take a whole and split it into pieces, the pieces are still one thing, just separated into many. In a sense, I am the universe experiencing itself. Everyone around me and all objects that surround me were, at one point, one object, one being. The universe is just comprised of pieces of itself experiencing those other pieces. Every murderer that has killed has really just killed himself. Every victim that ever was transgressed upon was also the transgressor. All that there ever has been and ever will be is all the part of the same whole, the universe.


I gaze at those twinkling gemstones in the sky and ponder what it means to be spiritual. I consider myself an agnostic as opposed to an atheist because as much as I disbelieve in a God, I cannot disprove the existence of an almighty being more than a religious person can prove one. I cannot say for certain, as I have no evidence disproving, that there is not a cosmic intelligence driving everything. For the time being, I say that I am an agnostic; I just don’t know that there is a God. However, there is just as much chance that a divine intelligence designed the singular particle that was everything before it exploded in the big bang as there is that the cataclysm occurred on its own. Until technology advances to a suitable level, we are currently unable to know what happened before the big bang. Ever since the early men that sailed the seas gazed at the stars just as I do, humankind’s understanding of nature and the workings of existence has expanded. We know that earthquakes are not the expressed anger of a supreme deity, but rather plate tectonics. We now know that life adapts and forms to the contours of its environment. The universe and things happening around seemingly don't need magic to work, so why believe in a magician?


Does being spiritual contain any value? As an atheist or an agnostic, many people would expect for me to say no.However, I feel actually quite spiritual. Not in the sense of worshipping a pantheon of gods but instead, worshipping life. I say spirit not in the sense of an ethereal soul that lives within the body, but in the sense of the essence of being human, being alive. The earth has suffered many cataclysmic events that life was not supposed to recover from, but it did. If anything in history had occurred any other way than exactly how it had happened, then how I live now and how I am today might not have ever occurred. Thinking of this, I take a deep breath and feel immensely grateful for all that has happened, be it bad or good. To take for granted all of the little things in life such as looking at the night sky or driving alone at midnight to enjoy the atmosphere should be a crime. Most people simply exist, and never live. Most people go about their everyday lives as if in a trance and don’t truly appreciate this wonderful universe that they have the gift of being a part of. They don’t experience life; they don’t stop and smell the roses, so to speak. The way particles interact, the way energy is transferred, and the way life develops, it is all surreal and fantastic in which the manner of how everyday simply exists. Although I don’t believe in any divine being, I do, however believe in enjoying all that I’ve been given. To be able to enjoy food, to enjoy sleep, to feel, to even just breathe, that is truly divine.