Honestly...this struck me as a little cliched. Some of the rhymes seem forced and if you're following true sonnet form, it's not in iambic pentameter. The rhymes would probably sound more genuine if the rhythm was correct, tho. I really liked the "bell's brazen chime" :) One last suggestion: many times where you use "shall," you could have/should have used "will" instead. The difference is subtle but important. "Will" deals strictly with future tense. "Shall" is permissive, giving one permission to do something in the future (i.e. contrast "Thou shalt not kil.l" with "Thou will not ki.ll").

Thank you. You can find the work I actually try to get published on the Bulletin Board, This is just a doodle.

Wow! Are you a teenager or what??? j/k. It seems as though you have a keen eye and you see the world as a wise elderly man would. That is a good thing. Great job!!