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Random thoughts that spilled out of my mind and into the computer before i could catch them and send
I spent
So many hours
With you glued to my face
That when you left, all i could hear was the silence
It rushed in into
The places you had suddenly filled with
Hysterical stories of death
And groceries stores
And being trapped in the freezer
beside the milk
and her face that looks in
at us trapped
together
stuck together
just
together
talking
And we talked about the epic hug fight
In which
I roll down
down
down
onto the highway
and into the ditch
beside a fence
and a field
and a boatload of conversations
about hermits
that live together
defeating the purpose
and the dead bodies under my bed
some of which aren’t actually dead
just.
there
inside the boat we will share
when we are out of college
and away
away from them
the world
and scary fathers with shot guns
he says im sorry
and after im done saying that’s ok daddy,
I walk away
And disturb you in your dreams
About this screwed up world
And the screwed up songs
Of singing faces that you give to me
About singing faces
That disappears
Every time you leave
To run
Those ten feet
So that I can
Listen
To the beat
Beat
beat
of your heart
under the t shirt
t shirt that you send me
in a bubble envelope
that I place
beside my face
and pretend
just pretend
that you are here
here with me
with me in that dark
under the set piece
in which we were caught
and our respect questioned
until im sorry
turns to Polaroid
and I am
forced to just
say thankyou
thankyou
while you say
I love you
I love you
I love you nonexistent hair
That you had cut off
By your sister
Who gets you
Drunk
On coke, and oh yeah
Rum
Until you ask me politely
To sit on you
And you sing about rum and Caribou Lou
On the phone with Jessica
For 2 hours
We watch pieces of shiny toy guns
Shooting up the ting tings
And mgmt
Singing songs about living the dream
And the way the killers
Stole the sound of modest mouse
And we deny
Deny to him
What happened
Until I explain
My fears
That are
Lastly nonexistent
Of him
And his way that
He pulls me in
Right off my feet
Into a
Gdfbb day
In which I run
Run run
Away
Into his apologetic
World.
Of I’m sorrys
I love you’s
Screaming futons
And the death of pillows
And
Thakyou’s
When I’m sorry isn’t enough
And the small
voice
That calls at midnight
And is shut
Out.
By my fathers loud hello
Good bye
Then
Click
Then no longer
you glued to my face
That when you left, all i could hear was the silence
It rushed in into
The places you had suddenly filled with
What will be.
For now.
For then
For
Main and new England
Heres to
Canadian death race
And running across the grand canyon
And
All the ands
That are to come
Finally
It’s the quiet
Of the ache
Of what you did to me
And the ache
Of what I am waiting for
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