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Stop The Violence MAG
Drugs all over under the ground.
Guns, people crying, putting each otherdown.
People every day do crazy things.
Buying fancy cars and a lot ofrings.
You have nothing to show for yourself.
You're dying on the inside,and you have bad health.
I wonder what the community can do.
I have noidea, not even a clue.
I look in the paper and I see someone dead.
They layon the stretcher like it was a bed.
The mothers stand in silence.
Peopleshould think TO STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 198 comments.
MLGBattleDiva said...
on Jun. 9 2011 at 11:09 am
Very good, keep it up
RanaHewezi1998 SILVER said...
on Jun. 9 2011 at 9:49 am
awwww :( that truly makes me wnt to do a difference
K.M.S.Shear BRONZE said...
on Jun. 9 2011 at 8:09 am
i agree nice wording
sobeautiful101 said...
on Apr. 28 2011 at 1:54 pm
this is a great poem and i really believe u have potential to be a posotive writer and thanks for your input.
dnm ! said...
on Apr. 26 2011 at 12:10 pm
soooo truee
great message, and that's a cause that I'm very interested in personally. but i'm a little frustrated that poems like this can rise to the top so quickly just because the topic is a hot button in society. Quality oughta be the hot button on this site.
ilovedayna BRONZE said...
on Apr. 4 2011 at 9:05 pm
i have heard all of this several times, and i don't get why people think it's so great. i'm pretty sure you have heard all of this several times, in more or less words. the writing sounds mixed up and the words don't flow. i am thinking people are mostly just rating on what they agree with as far as the high rating goes.
ilovedayna BRONZE said...
on Apr. 4 2011 at 9:00 pm
i think you're headed the right direction with your writing, just bring it closer, describe more about what's going on. put yourself in it more. it sounds like you needed to jump into the situation more. Show your feelings and exaggerate some, too.
Pickles-29 said...
on Apr. 4 2011 at 5:16 pm
This poem could use some work but keep trying.
RideTheWave BRONZE said...
on Apr. 4 2011 at 11:30 am
I agree with Liveinthemoment...
It was okay but i dont like it too much. something so serious should be portrayed seriously as well
FeelTheRomance18 said...
on Mar. 13 2011 at 9:57 pm
its OK... but I agree with LiveInTheMoment
rubyrainstorm SILVER said...
on Mar. 13 2011 at 4:15 pm
I personally don't love this poem. It reminds me of something somebody would do the morning the assignment was due. I also felt that the topic was serious, but the way it was delivered was childish. I felt as if you were mocking the subject.
Sabrina.Nichole SILVER said...
on Feb. 19 2011 at 2:48 pm
The message was great, but the rhyme scheme was only there to make the poem rhyme. That in my opinion takes away from the message, because of the low level diction and the incorrect word usage, just to make the poem rhyme. This poem has no emotion in it, it reminds me of a 6th grade essay or something. Im sorry but whoever wrote this really needs to search their heart and write about things that actually mean something to them so that the reader can feel passion from their work!
Well, if they meant it to be that way it's ineffective. Not to be rude, but I do not like this poem. The concept is important and we should all think about it but still; the rhyming - what does it add? The words sound illfitting and like they were only used because they rhymed. Personally, I think the poem doesn't do the issue justice. It sounds juvenille.
