Weakness of the everlasting moment | Teen Ink

Weakness of the everlasting moment

February 13, 2010
MoonlightRepresentive BRONZE, Riga, Other
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Not all those who wander are lost.&quot; <br /> -J.R.R. Tolkien


The time till the dawn
Is slowly being lost
The things that I've counted on
Have lost all of their cost.

The body is going further
The soul is getting dragged along
I carry my burden
Wondering where did I go wrong.

There is no point in talking
It will make things worse
I just keep on walking
Through these dark doors.

I faked my situation
It seemed like I was well
I took extra caution
So that noone could tell.

Here I am
Helplessly standing in front of my fears
No - one gives a damn
About my neverending inner tears.

This was the moment
That I had to embrace
The feelings of joy
Were lost without a trace.



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This article has 6 comments.


-Emie- SILVER said...
on Aug. 26 2010 at 6:59 pm
-Emie- SILVER, Wayland, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 171 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Well-behaved women seldom make history.&quot; - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich<br /> &quot;Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.&quot; - G.K. Chesterton

As I said on your other poem, I am not a big fan of rhyming poems. I would love to see you write some free verse non-rhyming poems.

on Aug. 26 2010 at 3:33 pm
sweetly_broken GOLD, Garner, North Carolina
15 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
We never know how big we are until we are asked to rise.

this is great except for maybe some rhymes and rhythms that didn't sound as poetic as they could have. I really liked it and please check out my poem, "The Window to the Right" thanks:)

EmoAnon GOLD said...
on Aug. 25 2010 at 8:44 am
EmoAnon GOLD, Westport, Indiana
16 articles 1 photo 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Money cannot buy happiness but it can buy choices.&quot; - Mrs. Renyolds (Cosmetology)

I liked it. It told your true feelings on the insede. As they said the rhyme can use work but it is wonderful as is. 3 / 5

on Feb. 21 2010 at 3:57 pm
xhiddeninsomniax SILVER, North Syracuse, New York
7 articles 2 photos 40 comments
Yes, some of the rhymes could be improved. But I like the concept of it and your choices of words.

*Jade* said...
on Feb. 20 2010 at 8:44 pm
i like theres a scence of uniqueness to it the ryming could use work but overall really good ^^

on Feb. 20 2010 at 9:05 am
SarClark BRONZE, NC, Connecticut
2 articles 0 photos 534 comments
Some of the rhymes were off, but this is very good.