everything is going ever so wrong. i've been feeling so bad for i dont know how long. and everything i say. everything i do. nobody cares. they dont think that its true. i wasnt someone to care. i want someone to love. for attention i need i must push pull and shove. i remember the fun things i use to do. like falling over luaghing while talking to you. all the fun games i use to play and for those reasons i will not go today.

things got worse im feeling real bad. no words to describe it. its long gone from sad. all alone in a world that swallows you whole. i feel all alone. no body nor soul. no friends to rely on. trust is a waste. i no longer can feel, smell, touch, or taste. i wish i could cry or sing a sad song. but i dont think i could if i tried its been ever so long. my whole life feels like a needle in hay. but no matter, i will not go today.

hard to write. much harder to speak. my whole body feels.... tired and weak. my only question is how god how. how could you love somebody you have but hurt. how can you watch yourself rub my face in the dirt. but hopefully things will get better, until then i continue this letter. other than that i have nothing to say. but for that reason i will not go today.

i talk with a whisper. i breath with a sigh. i feel it within, but cant let out a single cry. no one is coming. no one will care. as im dying inside they just sit there and stare. from the cliff i see myself falling. but i do nothing but sit here balling. my insides are feeling blueish blackish and grey. but i will not go today.

i feel my life slowly ticking to a stop. hanging by a thread and then i hear the chop. i can feel it breathing on my neck. why my life does it have to wreck? no one knows the answer to this. i hear it let out an evil hiss. deaths on it's way. theres no stopping it now. if theres a way just answer me how. im scared something bad is coming my way. but i will hold on. i will not go today.

stop right there if you want a happy ending. i feel my life shaking, shifting, and bending. im afraid the worst has gotton to close. i feel like a volcano as the worriness grows. ive grown colder and deeper within. i sit here and watch my life topple and spin. and with every twist, and with every turn, i look down and see a peice of me burn. theres no stopping me now. i get on one knee tilt my head and bow. my pride is nut none. im being finished up. im all done. now i realize i cannot stay. with rope in my hands i will go today.