2047 days.

All I ever catch myself thinking about while I'm lonely looking out the window of the train as it goes through like a noisy shadow in this strange place which you are not in, is you. Just you.

Some nights, much like this one, I imagine what you're doing, where you are and what you're feeling. I imagine how life would've been to have you. Some days, I close my eyes and invoke the image of you. I remember your butterfly caper of a smile and I keep invoking it again and again lest I forget your face.

A few months ago, I was sitting at the coffee place where I first saw you, just crying all alone. No one noticed. I looked up at the empty chair in front of me and I imagined you sitting there. Smiling at me. The way you did on that day 3 years ago, in the very same place.
You don't know my name. But still, I pray for you to be blessed in my prayers. I pray for your happiness even though I will never be the reason for it. I pray for the Lord to save you, to protect you and to guide you. I love you, I love you. For the rest of my life, it has to be only you. There might be others and they might mean a thing or two but no one will ever be loved the way I loved you.

The Lord is holding my hand every step of the way, and the steps are leading me away from the ghost of you. I'm finally brave and sick enough to want to feel better. To leave behind the memory of the only boy I ever loved.


Counting the

s
t
e
p
s

to the door of your h e a r t
.
.
.



2
0
4
7

I'm eighteen years old and I'm in college now. I'm not that schoolgirl in the school uniform and I don't write poems about you anymore. I laugh a lot more, I'm happier and I'm not a patch to that girl I used to be. I'm flying. But every time I'm on that bus or airplane or train alone looking out the window, it's you I'm thinking of. Every time I go to that coffee shop, it's you I'm waiting for. Only you, (
).

Have a beautiful life.