Confused By The Reality of a Fantasy

It’s almost like a twisted heaven,
To hate a person for the pain,
But loving them for the joy,
That used to run through you each day.

It’s like a rush of reality,
Filling your lungs,
And choking you with the grip of truth
Yet still you manage to croak: “I won’t stop loving you.”

Why does this rush of adrenaline bring you to such a high?
Why does this constant rejection keep you strong?
Why do I keep holding on a hopeless fantasy?
Or do I need this fable to keep my spirits up?

Am I lost, or have I finally found my way?
Am I dreaming or is it the real deal?
Are you that prince that beckons for me below my balcony?
Or are you just a portion of what I wish you would be?

To not know bring the mind curiosity,
And curiosity brings the heart hope,
And hope can either be an ally,
Or a rival