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Behind the Mask

April 23, 2013
By Firefaerie SILVER, Austin, Texas
More by this author
Firefaerie SILVER, Austin, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do not pity the dead. pity the living, and above all, those who live without love&quot; - J.K Rowling<br /> &quot;There&#039;s always another secret&quot; -Brandon Sanderson

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Behind your happy mask I see
Happinness that cannot be
your soul was shattered
Your feelings tattered
And you'll never be the same again

Your heart cries out to be heard
But only I can hear a word
To protect yourself you let no one know
That your feelings are now cold as snow
But you'll never be the same again

You wish that you were uncaring
But life is just not that sparing
I see the sorrow that you feel
And i wish it was not real
But you'll never be the same again

Sadness bleeds from your eyes to the earth
And in your soul there is no mirth
I wish you happiness so that you see
All that you were meant to be
But you'll never be the same again

Behind my happy mask you'll see
Happiness that cannot be
My soul was shattered
My feelings tattered
And I'll never be the same again

© Jena S., Cameron, WI

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This article has 15 comments.

Myvoice4change SILVER said...
on Dec. 24 2013 at 5:31 pm
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Everything will be ok in the end. If it&#039;s not okay, it&#039;s not the end.&quot;

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Again, one of your strengths is definately the rhyming scheme! Still have a good rythm scheme, too. You did a good job of expressing feelings in a raw way. I can definately relate to this as I remember feeling this way at one time in my life. I also like the smilies you make, like "cold as snow," and the metaphor "sadness bleeds from your eyes;" it adds imagery to it.  
half.note said...
on Dec. 13 2013 at 9:44 pm
half.note, Edmonton, Alberta
0 articles 0 photos 102 comments
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Wow. I have no critiques for this one. I loved your word choice (especially the word "bleeding" to describe crying) and your use of repetition. Fantastic work!
coco7misty SILVER said...
on Jun. 6 2013 at 11:44 am
coco7misty SILVER, Acton, Massachusetts
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You can&#039;t take the sky from me.&quot; - Joss Whedom, &quot;Ballad of Serenity&quot;

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Wow, this is really good!
kikixkupkake GOLD said...
on Jun. 4 2013 at 6:57 pm
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The things that walk out when we open our minds.&quot; -Dylan McCoy

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Fantastic, I honestly believe this poem is great. The rhyme scheme, AABBC is something very hard to coordinate because of the rhythm. It just doesn't always work. But this poem is a clear example of how to use this rhyme scheme. Fantastic!
TargonTheDragon GOLD said...
on Jun. 4 2013 at 6:46 pm
TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
15 articles 16 photos 292 comments

Favorite Quote:
First dentistry was painless.<br /> Then bicycles were chainless,<br /> Carriages were horseless,<br /> And many laws enforceless.<br /> <br /> Next cookery was fireless,<br /> Telegraphy was wireless,<br /> Cigars were nicotineless,<br /> And coffee caffeineless.<br /> <br /> Soon oranges were seedless,<br /> The putting green was weedless,<br /> The college boy was hatless,<br /> The proper diet fatless.<br /> <br /> New motor roads are dustless,<br /> The latest steel is rustless,<br /> Our tennis courts are sodless,<br /> Our new religion &mdash; godless.

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yup, really good!  
liberalartist GOLD said...
on Jun. 4 2013 at 6:44 pm
liberalartist GOLD, Stillwater, Minnesota
14 articles 2 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
Poeta nasicur, non fit. (a poet is born, not made)

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Awesome. nice job rhyming earth and mirth, never would have tought of that :D
HammadWaseem said...
on May. 22 2013 at 7:31 pm
HammadWaseem, Lahore, Other
0 articles 5 photos 283 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be proud of who you are.<br /> -Eminem<br /> <br /> You can&#039;t see me<br /> -John Cena<br /> <br /> Ooh, somebody stop me!<br /> -Mask

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nice!good job!
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on May. 22 2013 at 7:20 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

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This is really good. Keep up the good work XD
Firefaerie SILVER said...
on May. 16 2013 at 12:00 pm
Firefaerie SILVER, Austin, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do not pity the dead. pity the living, and above all, those who live without love&quot; - J.K Rowling<br /> &quot;There&#039;s always another secret&quot; -Brandon Sanderson

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thanks for you advice :) im glad you liked it
IndigoElisabeth SILVER said...
on May. 14 2013 at 10:10 pm
IndigoElisabeth SILVER, Woodbury, New Jersey
5 articles 1 photo 171 comments

Favorite Quote:
John 1:1

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I'm sorry I didn't get around to this sooner. I've just been so darn busy! Okay. So, this poem is AWESOME. So true and so...I don't know how to describe it. Evocative? Anyways, the only thing you could change: In one or two lines, the rhyme was a little strained.
Firefaerie SILVER said...
on May. 8 2013 at 4:40 pm
Firefaerie SILVER, Austin, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do not pity the dead. pity the living, and above all, those who live without love&quot; - J.K Rowling<br /> &quot;There&#039;s always another secret&quot; -Brandon Sanderson

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thanks :) i'm glad that you can relate to it, but sad at the same time, i wish people wouldn't have to live behind a mask, it would make life so much easier :)
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on May. 6 2013 at 6:38 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If it weren&rsquo;t for the coffee, I&rsquo;d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.&rdquo; &ndash;David Letterman

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Oops, I meant to say "earth." Ah well, you get another comment! :D
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on May. 6 2013 at 6:37 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If it weren&rsquo;t for the coffee, I&rsquo;d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.&rdquo; &ndash;David Letterman

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Don't we always feel on a gloomy day that we're hiding behind a happy mask just so that people won't ask, "Are you okay?" I love how I can really relate to this poem, excellent work! My favorite lines are "Sadness bleeds from your eyes to the eart/And in your soul there is no mirth." Have an awesome day! :D
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM said...
on May. 3 2013 at 7:31 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light&quot; --Dylan Thomas

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And feedback is what you'll get!!! Amazing job, really! I love the repetition and the heartache is so real!!! Awesome job! Could you take a look at soem of my work too? Feedback is always graciously appreaciated! Love it! Keep rockin
Firefaerie SILVER said...
on Apr. 29 2013 at 4:34 pm
Firefaerie SILVER, Austin, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do not pity the dead. pity the living, and above all, those who live without love&quot; - J.K Rowling<br /> &quot;There&#039;s always another secret&quot; -Brandon Sanderson

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hey guys, please post comments, i would really like feedback, Thanks :)