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A Long Awaited Moment

June 27, 2014
By HayatC. PLATINUM, Louisville, Kentucky
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HayatC. PLATINUM, Louisville, Kentucky
25 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."

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Tis’ long I have waited for this moment
The moment the bird takes flight
No longer shackled to other people’s needs
No longer hidden from everyone’s sight

It glides above green forests and icy wastelands
It finds birds of its feather and kingdom
And together they fly away from whatever barrier
That used to hold them back from freedom

It finds the one bird it was always meant to be with
All its life it was always that one bird
And together they perch on a majestic willow
And sing the most beautiful song anyone had ever heard

Oh, how long I have waited for this moment
The moment the bird takes flight
For what is a poet that favors for a bird to be caged
But a poet unable to identify wrong from right

© Jacqueline T., Flowermound, TX

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This article has 4 comments.

Adia16 GOLD said...
on Jun. 22 2015 at 12:01 pm
Adia16 GOLD, Nampa, Idaho
16 articles 7 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sing like no one's listening, Dance like no ones watching, Love like you've never been hurt."-Unknown

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The use of the repetition of words is a bit distracting, using the word moment and again a bit after. You could use the conjunction and make the bird more of a symbol add a pronoun. Example - For the bird who takes flight.
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND said...
on Jul. 9 2014 at 3:18 pm
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1486 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.

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really this is really great. you're a wonderful writer. thank you, for sharing this. ^_^ so beautiful  
TheComet PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 2 2014 at 11:44 am
TheComet PLATINUM, Mostaganem, Other
22 articles 1 photo 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret&quot; -Ambrose Bierce<br /> &quot; Be yourself! Everybody else is already taken ;)&quot;<br /> &quot;Don&#039;t go where the path leads you. Go instead where there&#039;s no path and leave a trail ;)&quot;-R.W.Emerson

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Wow that was so beautiful!! i loved it, so much detail and great imagery. you have a great talent Hayat so keep writing and never stop ^_^ ill keep an eye on you to see more of your work. Kinda exited lol ;)
carothesparrow GOLD said...
on Jul. 2 2014 at 12:35 am
carothesparrow GOLD, Lilburn, Georgia
15 articles 9 photos 248 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont give up she will talk someday my friend made this quote she is really cool cause she understands about my sister<br /> it starts with ONE to make a differerence!!! i learned this quote at a leadership camp<br /> <br /> ohana means family no one gets left behind

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amazing so detailed :)