Sometimes I'm screaming silently in the madness of my mind,
My thoughts forming a hurricane, which leaves me deaf and blind
The raging winds envelope me and carry me away
I try to fight the storm made of memories and shame

But the struggle's always pointless, it always ends the same
I try to hide in bunkers, that drug companies have made
Yet I've yet to find a shelter that can withstand the strain
The strain of searing memories that burn with flaming rain

The storm always engulfs me, once I have nowhere to hide
The medications' shelters can't save me from what's inside

As the tempest engulfs me, my eyes are movie screens
They cannot see the present day, they only see what has already been
And the scenes I see at this point are always the same ones
I can watch the scene unfold, but I can never run

I always see a little girl who's in a darkened hall
She's staring at some pictures that are hanging on the wall
The biggest picture's of a party, with people grinning ear to ear
I see the girl, her parents, other children, but there's one figure who isn't clear

It seems to be a family friend, but the face is a black blur
Yet some gut instinct within me,
Tells me he is anything but obscure

The little girl seems familiar, but she doesn't say a word
Until a man's voice breaks the silence
It's the only thing that's heard

"Hey, come over here" he says, and snatches her tiny hand
Yet she doesn't seem surprised, or even fazed by the man
Instead she looks stone sober, as if she knows that something's wrong
But instead of shedding tears, she tries to look composed and calm

I watch as the man's clothes come off, and he tells her to do the same
Fear dances in the small girl's eyes, but still, the child obeys

The man then says "Lay down now", and pushes her to the floor
I know this scene will not end well, that much seems quite sure

The man is undressed fully, he's as naked as the night
He then lays his hands on the girl, and chuckles darkly with delight

The girl's eyes close in terror, and finally, I now see
I know why the girl's familiar; That little girl is me

I blink, and I'm her now
I'm the girl laying on the ground
He's feeling me all over, he's all over me now



This is what happens in my brain, whenever only I'm at home
The memories stalk me through the day, and strike when I'm alone

I can't trust anyone, I just hide in my room
Wondering how someone's capable of being so damn cruel
My innocence was robbed that day, I was left a broken shell
And the man who stole my innocence, filled my heart with burning hell
A deep, seething anger, with layers of regret and misery
All the while I always think, the blame lays square on me
Maybe if I was better, faster, stronger, or more bright
Maybe he would have left me be in peace on that night

This is why it kills me, it just pains me to the bone
When single teenagers complain how they're unloved and alone
How no one has had sex with them, as if virginity's a crime
I wish they'd appreciate virginity

At least their first time's not like mine.