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Need Love?
December 31, 2008
See it but never feel it.
Get close, only to push it away.
“Don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone”
Epitome of my life.
What is wrong with me?
What makes me so un-lovable?
Can someone remove this defective sign from my forehead,
And replace it with a kiss.
I want more than mediocre.
I want someone to miss.
Do I ask for too much?
Are my requirements unachievable?
My heart remains unconquered, unattained.
I’m tired of fairy tale endings,
Silly thoughts put in my head by unrealistic, but hopelessly believable movies.
They are all the same.
Girl meets boy. Girl messes it up. Boy forgives girl.
Happily Ever After.
At least they let on that relationships have problems.
I want raw, unrelenting love.
The real deal.
No movie, novel, or episode of “Sex and the City” could ever touch.
Left alone, drowning in thoughts,
Who else in the world could need love,
Like I need love?
© Rebecca S., Marblehead, MA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 885 comments.
Leah:) said...
on Feb. 20 2009 at 9:50 pm
I think just about EVERY teen can relate to this! Keep writing:)
artofthedeath said...
on Feb. 20 2009 at 1:00 pm
I thought it was good, and I can relate. Thought that for most of my life, still do. Great job!
jess said...
on Feb. 20 2009 at 3:48 am
this poem was amazing, great job. i liked the use of wording and how it all flowed together.
Perfectionist47 said...
on Feb. 17 2009 at 1:22 am
I thought it was a lot to take in, but I loved it. It's hard to write about such a broad, changing subject. I hope you check out my poem at-
TeenInk.com/raw/Poetry/article/83793/To-Become/
Please read and comment on it! Keep Writing!
TeenInk.com/raw/Poetry/article/83793/To-Become/
Please read and comment on it! Keep Writing!
squirreltosey14 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 16 2009 at 10:55 pm
In my opinion, the poem could have been better. Though the image was very vivid, i thought it lacked a big enough deeper meaning. If you had maybe mad it longer, and added almost a second poem, like another idea, not superficially, but something that the reader would, after thinking about it, come upon a bigger idea (though love is a very big idea, which i applaud you for writing about). All in all though, great writing.
Thank you all for your comments, tips, and advice. I hope you could relate to or at least enjoy my poem. :) I do write songs as well, and I do plan to write more poems, but I am busy with life right now.
A reply to Art Close: Even though my poem is both blank verse and free verse, it has a point to it. It lacks structure, as does love and life. At the points where it does rhyme, there is a reason for it. I did not just scrawl it out on a piece of paper, there is a lot of thought put into it, and I am sorry that you are unable to see it as well as unable to relate. My poem reflects me, in my life, my thoughts, my ideas, my dreams. Your comment was great, but to me, my poem is already exquisite because it IS me.
(it's exquisite, not "exsquisite" - I suggest you check your spelling when you "execute" your feedback.)
Once again, thank you all. Carolyn S.
A reply to Art Close: Even though my poem is both blank verse and free verse, it has a point to it. It lacks structure, as does love and life. At the points where it does rhyme, there is a reason for it. I did not just scrawl it out on a piece of paper, there is a lot of thought put into it, and I am sorry that you are unable to see it as well as unable to relate. My poem reflects me, in my life, my thoughts, my ideas, my dreams. Your comment was great, but to me, my poem is already exquisite because it IS me.
(it's exquisite, not "exsquisite" - I suggest you check your spelling when you "execute" your feedback.)
Once again, thank you all. Carolyn S.
angelalynn said...
on Feb. 16 2009 at 5:40 pm
it's really goo i like it =) i wrote a poem about love to actually =P tell me what you think!: TeenInk.com/raw/Poetry/article/80229/The-Day-After-Forever/
SoccerGrl517 SILVER said...
on Feb. 16 2009 at 5:33 pm
Very well said. You know love may take its time to find its way to you, but soon enough it will find its way right to your heart. Stay hopeful.
Art Close said...
on Feb. 16 2009 at 5:34 am
Where was the flow or the dreamy prose? The idea was good, but the execution wasnt great. But I did have a very clear vision of you writing this, hunched over the paper, scrawling your heart away onto a piece of refill... if you could take that gift of placement and spin some words, it would be exsquisite. Best wishes.
FadetoFluorescent SILVER said...
on Feb. 15 2009 at 6:51 pm
good job, although it is strait forward, this poem is written extremely well in down-to-earth, very real feelings of the average teenage girl, including me. once again, very well done.
ryryross23 said...
on Feb. 15 2009 at 6:46 pm
that was amazing, it is like the story of my life
LusciousKitten SILVER said...
on Feb. 15 2009 at 3:30 am
Awezome poem i really like i havent found love
Livinglifefully BRONZE said...
on Feb. 14 2009 at 3:03 pm
that was terrific
jaquanda sunshine said...
on Feb. 12 2009 at 7:16 pm
thatz really great i enjoyed it
thatoneguy said...
on Feb. 12 2009 at 4:44 am
Wow. I never knew you possessed such an amazing talent for poetry. It makes you want to question what love really is and you do a fantastic job in stating your argument. I'm glad that you're letting your feelings permeate through this poem because I don't really get to hear about them often enough. Again, amazing job. Keep the poetry coming!
thatguyyouthinkyouknow said...
on Feb. 11 2009 at 7:16 pm
That was a pretty good poem you seem like you are good at being popular on here this was excellent and i don't really even like the gushy stuff! congrats on a job well done.
smile101 said...
on Feb. 11 2009 at 4:05 am
Wow that poem was really good! And what 'un-lovable' girl doesn't feel that way?
Whitten said...
on Feb. 10 2009 at 5:39 pm
That was one of the best poems i have ever read
westlife4eva said...
on Feb. 10 2009 at 5:30 pm
Wow! This is really good!!
