Am I Alone? | Teen Ink

Am I Alone?

March 5, 2015
By Joshua Grossman SILVER, Weston, Florida
Joshua Grossman SILVER, Weston, Florida
7 articles 0 photos 0 comments

What is this feeling?
Why does it hurt?
What should I do?
I have to remember that I’m not alone.

 

Why does it hurt?
Why do they turn away from me?
I don’t know.
I just wanted to talk.

 

Why do they turn away from me?
Did I do something to them?
I just wanted to talk.
I just don’t get it.

 

Did I do something to them?
I’m trying to be polite.
I just don’t get it.
Why do they pretend I’m not here?

 

I’m trying to be polite.
I hold doors and try to make small talk.
Why do they pretend I’m not here?
Am I even real?

 

I hold doors and try to make small talk.
They don’t stop to thank me.
Am I even real?
I think so.

 

They don’t stop to thank me.
Did they make up a game to ignore me?
I think so.
They only come to me when they need something.

 

Did they make up a game to ignore me?
I don’t like this game.
They only come when they need something.
They never stay.

 

I don’t like this game.
What’s the point?
They never stay.
I’m done caring.

 

What’s the point?
Do they even know?
I’m done caring.
I’ll just listen to music until they need something.

 

Do they even know?
It hurt me so much.
I’ll just listen to music until they need something.
Music makes it harder to hear them walking away.

 

It hurt me so much.
Why can’t I leave?
Music makes it harder to hear them walking away.
None of them cared.

 

Why can’t I leave?
I don’t like it here.
None of them cared.
When will I leave?

 

I don’t like it here.
I feel like I’m in prison.
When will I leave?
When will school start again?

 

I feel like I’m in prison.
Was I supposed to feel this way?
When will school start again?
I miss my friends.

 

Was I supposed to feel this way?
Neglected and furious.
I miss my friends.
I’m counting the days.

 

Neglected and furious.
I had to wait an hour for someone who never showed up.
I’m counting the days.
I can’t wait to be free!

 

I had to wait an hour for someone who never showed up.

He expected me to forgive him instantly.
I can’t wait to be free.
I’m almost free.

 

He expected me to forgive him instantly.
He was so surprised when I yelled at him.
I’m almost free.
Just a few more days.

 

He was so surprised when I yelled at him.
It was the longest I spoke for weeks, about two minutes.
Just a few more days.
Why can’t I leave now?

 

It was the longest I spoke for weeks, about two minutes.
He went back to ignoring me.
Why can’t I leave now?
I feel like I’m fading out of existence.

 

He went back to ignoring me.
Why am I not surprised?
I feel like I’m fading out of existence.
Nothing changed.

 

Why am I not surprised?
The last day was the longest.
Nothing changed.
I was happy to leave.

 

The last day was the longest.
I counted down the minutes.
I was happy to leave.
Why were they surprised that I already packed my stuff and brought it downstairs?

 

I counted down the minutes.
I was asked what I would miss the most.
Why were they surprised that I already packed and brought my stuff downstairs?
When will the driver get here?

 

I was asked what I would miss the most.
I laughed.
When will the driver get here?
I want to go home.

 

I laughed.
I was finally free!
I want to go home.
I want to see my friends.

 

I was finally free.
School just started.
I want to see my friends.
I missed them.

 

School just started.
My friends are here.
I missed them.
It’s true.

 

My friends are here.
They’re better company than the others.
It’s true.
They make me feel wanted.

 

They’re better company than the others.
What is this feeling?
They make me feel wanted.
I have to I remember that I’m not alone.


The author's comments:

I wrote this at school shorly after summer ended. I know that was a long time ago, but I want to get this out on Teen Ink. During the summer, I attended two writing programs. This is based on the second one. The majority of the people were rude and spoiled. The instructor seemed to take great joy in berating me, sometimes in front of others. He once pulled me out of the room and told me that my writing will be nothing more than an 'abomination, a stain on all things humane.' I still remember the exact words he said to me. 

 

My point is: don't ignore that quiet person in class, maybe he/she just wants a friend. I'm glad to say that I have friends.


Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.