The strain in my body, my eyes, my mind
Lingering for days, months, years and on
Seeming as if time is relentless, breathless
Never-ending memories and the pain that follows
Flooding my insides till I drown in my sorrow
I notice my scars remain, they never fade
I’ve been in battle, and I’ve come out
The constant battles between my mind and my body
My skin is white, broken and freshly tattered
From the lack of blood that runs through
From the wars I’ve fought but cannot seem to win
My weapon, a single blade, beautiful at sight
So thin and precise, a deadly match for such a beauty
Cutting through my skin like the tears on my face,
Showing what I’ve tried so hard to hide.
My body is missing pieced, I want to not notice
But the all too familiar feelings are gone
That beating that once sat in my chest,
Steady and strong is giving up
That pain that lingered in my body and mind,
So influencing and constant is stronger than ever
That feeling of hope, that once rested in me
Making me fight back is fading quickly
All of it gone with that of another slice
So quick and accurate, I watch as the light fades
Darkness takes over my eyes, me, leaving nothing behind
The rise and fall of my chest, that I have relied on for so long,
Begins to draw back, slowly and steadily
Till all of me is still and quiet
As I take my last breath,
Holding it as treasure
My lungs begin to burn and beg me to breathe
It’s as if I’ve forgotten how to do so
That beating that once sat in my chest,
Steady and strong is no longer
That pain that lingered in my body and mind,
So influencing and constant has finally won
That feeling of hope, that once rested in me
Making me fight back is gone
My body shakes and twitches as I start to cool
There lying on the bathroom floor,
My skin damp and warm from the blood I’ve spilt
My body wanders; I can feel its curiosity
Coming in and out of my mind
I know what’s coming next
I close my eyes, welcoming in that bright light
I hear voices in the distance, begging, pleading, and asking my why
And with my final breath I whisper my last goodbye.