It’s that time of year again for
Christmas lights to shine,
And the star and ornaments
Are all hanging off the pine.

Our presents are opened,
And our bellies are full,
I cannot eat one more
Bite, not another mouthful.

But the part we all dread is
when our cousins come to town.
It’s only a few minutes now,
And we’re all counting down.

There was a knocking on the door,
And all our spirits went down,
For it’s hard to enjoy Christmas
When the rednecks are in town.

Cousin Molly still has a harelip,
Daryl brought his dog Skippy
And Uncle Tom married his
Younger sister, Aunt Patty

Skippy knocked over the tree,
And Tom was flirting with Patty.
Molly kept talking about her lip,
And all I wanted was a fatty.

Drunk uncle Tom ruined Christmas
By trying to say he’s the Redneck Santa.
He threw up on our dinner table,
And called his new wife Hannah.
That’s why our family decided
It is time to leave Indiana.