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Lipstick
Bubblegum was the cotton candy in my throat when you led me through the crowd
Barbie pink was the pool float when you caught me so I didn’t drown
Strawberry was the smoothie, of course, I was drinking when the seeds got stuck in my teeth
Cherry was the undisputed source of the falling blossoms; a spindly, sapling tree
Flamingo was the flower you tucked behind my ear, foreheads a gentle temperature touch
Fuchsia was the lollipop I liked best that year, so you bought them all just to see me blush
Magenta was the valentine trimmed, and the beginning of a neverending dream
French Rose was the lipstick I was wearing when you kissed me.
Tangerine was the checkered blanket where you pushed me into the grass
Ginger was my hair back then, but the dye job didn’t last
Amber was the Ferris Wheel where my stomach flipped and whirled
Tiger’s eye was the cider, sealed with the pinkie finger of a little girl
Terracotta was the rose, its thorns biting through my skin
Marmalade was the awning you chose where you told me, “make a wish.”
Apricot was the jam I picked, hoping against hope you’d agree
Honeyed orange was the lipstick I was wearing when you hit me
Apple red was the flush in my face, always, of playing pretend
Burgandy was the rush of beauty, a skeleton in an off shoulder dress
Ruby was the engagement ring, glittering like a collar on my hand
Garnet was the wine you said to drink, and I remember nothing after that
Maroon was the ruined tablecloth when I stumbled down the stairs
Crimson was the blood dripping on my face and congealed in my hair
Scarlet was the nailpolish bottle that broke on the tiled floor as I started to scream
Cherry red was the lipstick I was wearing when you broke me
Lilac was the lavender in the vase at my hospital bedside
Amethyst was the price I paid for keeping a silver thread of my life
Mauve was the bruise that slithered up my neck in the shape of fingerprints
Violet was the route I had to choose, even through begged forgiveness
Indigo was the heartbreak weighing down on too thin shoulders
Heather was the first girl you found and now her skin will always be colder
Plum was the first thing I ate on that plane across an ocean so startlingly blue
Royal purple was the lipstick I was wearing when I left you
Coffee is the morning breeze I brew, rumbling like earth shaking thunder
Brunette is the hair of the woman lying bare under my satin covers
Tawny is the fur of the shepherd curled between our sides
Cedar is the sleepy contentment of the warrior soul inside
Rich umber is the guitar I tenderly strum and cradle in my lap
Walnut is the journal where I’ve begun to write about the walk to hell and back
Cinnamon is the bitter taste in my throat when I remember a little girl long gone
Mocha brown is the lipstick I am wearing when I decide to move on.
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This piece was written when I was reflecting on how, as I got older, I began to wear different shades of lipstick in different phases of life. Thus, I got the idea to use the lipstick as a metaphor for getting out of an abusive relationship and becoming an independent person.