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Losing and Finding yourself
My love for attention ruined my impression.
It was never my intention
to lose myself in the process of expression.
But it seems I’m too late to be fixed
and show who I am,
for everyone will call me a liar
when I name my true favorite desires.
I have done and said things
to get friends I don’t understand
so I wouldn’t end up alone in the end.
now I regret every step,
and wish to be known as who I truly am.
turned back the time
hypnotized everyone to forget.
Let them know I’m not the person they think I am
I didn’t realize it till I got left lonely
and saw how amazing it is
to have time for yourself.
I picked up my pen and started to write again.
I picked up my brush and started to paint again
I picked up the book and remembered
how much I liked to read
before the reputation that I dreaded took over my head.
I put on a classical music.
I no longer listen to what everyone did
and I no longer dressed only to fit in
with the wrong part of society
I never really wanted to be in.
I chose a quiet life
and saw how everyone slowly left
It no longer got me scared but relieved.
I only kept my true friends
who would be with me till the end,
never judged me,
and forgave me
for my past childhood mistakes
that I was forced to make
they stayed with me till then.
I am made for a quiet life
I love nature, I love humans,
I love God, I love my mom who I will always respect,
I love my friends,
I love the wind that flutters my eyelashes in the breeze,
I love the rain, I love to dance,
I love to write
and I love to deep think
about every philosophical question there is,
I love to read classical literature
and most importantly
I like myself because that is who I am
don’t let the Environment
change you.
know that in the end
it will make you lose yourself
no matter how happy you think you’ll stay,
you’ll find yourself lost in the end.
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When I arrived in America, I realized that I completely changed who I was without even realizing it, after years when I went back to my country and grew up a little, I felt left out. the things I said and did for attention chased me around and embarrassed me, gave me a wrong reputation... but I've been working on restoring myself, which is what made me write this poem.