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Jerk MAG

January 2, 2009
By Christina BRONZE, Clifton, Virginia
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Christina BRONZE, Clifton, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 26 comments
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I love your voice,
your soft brown hair.
I love your eyes
and love your stare.

I love your laugh,
your cocky smirk,
your stupid jokes.
You precious jerk,

you know I do.
I want my hands
all through your hair
each treasured strand.

I’m wrapped around
your finger still.
Am I yet yours?
Your love does kill

the things I hold
so close to me
and yet you’re the
best jerk I see.

© Colton D., Lubbock, TX

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 1556 comments.

Danica SILVER said...
on Jul. 27 2010 at 3:58 pm
Danica SILVER, Avondale, Arizona
7 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is our choices, that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities." -- Albus Dumbledore

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I love this! It flows really well and it's both funny and touching too!  I'd love your guys' opinions on my work if you ever have the chance :)
JChang504 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 27 2010 at 3:46 pm
JChang504 BRONZE, Katonah, New York
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"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." - Plutarch

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In the last two lines, the meter, well, the emphasis on the syllables at least, is changed. This creates an interesting effect which I'm not sure if I really like to be honest. Is this intentional?
fastpitch317 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 27 2010 at 1:11 pm
fastpitch317 BRONZE, Milan, Michigan
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Favorite Quote:
Do what you love and love what you do.

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Good job! At first I wondered why you chose certain words and began a new stanza in the middle of ideas...but I realized you made each stanza 4 lines long, and each line 4 syllables. This is really good.
katie_bugg GOLD said...
on Jul. 27 2010 at 4:53 am
katie_bugg GOLD, Scott Depot, West Virginia
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Favorite Quote:
&quot;But my heart, it is brighter than all the many stars in the sky&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -Edgar Allan Poe

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Amazing! Bravo! :-)
BeeBopper BRONZE said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 10:05 pm
BeeBopper BRONZE, Eaton, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment
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I really like this poem a lot! Good job! I am pretty bad at poetry so i respect this.
Trio123 GOLD said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 12:21 pm
Trio123 GOLD, Sunnyvale, California
13 articles 46 photos 119 comments
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i love it!!
MomofTeens said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 10:48 am
A fantastic, timeless poem.  You should carve it deep into a large boulders so that future generations can laugh and sigh too. Through your poems, you can live forever.  Keep writing!
_butters_ SILVER said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 9:05 am
_butters_ SILVER, Trinidad, Colorado
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Favorite Quote:
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Wonderful. I loved every line of it. It's tagged in my favorites.

Aspiring Poetess said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 6:30 am

These are your best lines:

"I want my hands
all through your hair
each treasured strand."

They are suprising and tactile, and have wonderful rythm.

The word 'yet' in the second to last stanza is a little jarring; I'd tweak it a bit, but the poem is lovely, and I was interested enough to stop in and read the whole thing and comment too, which I never do.

Well done!

SoftballPoet PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 25 2010 at 1:31 pm
SoftballPoet PLATINUM, Branson, Missouri
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 very well put. i love my jerk too :P
Faithband3 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 23 2010 at 1:38 pm
Faithband3 BRONZE, Westbury, New York
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this is a really good poem nice job i love it
jward24895 SILVER said...
on Jul. 22 2010 at 9:02 pm
jward24895 SILVER, Montour Falls, New York
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Totally know how you feel; Well written. :)
court8652 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 22 2010 at 12:51 pm
court8652 BRONZE, Franklin, Tennessee
3 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;NEVER LOOK BACK BUT NEVER FORGET. &quot;<br /> &quot;a friend is someone who reaches for your hand but grabs your heart&quot;.

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just pointing out.... no guys commented. :D
court8652 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 22 2010 at 12:49 pm
court8652 BRONZE, Franklin, Tennessee
3 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;NEVER LOOK BACK BUT NEVER FORGET. &quot;<br /> &quot;a friend is someone who reaches for your hand but grabs your heart&quot;.

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agreed. i still love it but something is lacking....

 

BlackXxXKisses SILVER said...
on Jul. 22 2010 at 8:41 am
BlackXxXKisses SILVER, Niles, Ohio
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Favorite Quote:
You don&#039;t know what you&#039;ve got til its gone.

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I know EXACTLY how you feel right now. Its the people like us that see the good in our jerks.
Eternally17 SILVER said...
on Jul. 21 2010 at 12:16 pm
Eternally17 SILVER, Dubai, Other
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Haha good one,, I like the way you write ^.^
KandyKiwi said...
on Jul. 20 2010 at 6:47 pm
KandyKiwi, Boulder, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 68 comments
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omg! that's so cute!!!

I <3 IT! :D

JennMoscovitz said...
on Jul. 19 2010 at 12:22 pm
Oh, My, Gosh! this is my feelings exactly for this guy! he's a jerk but i can't stop thinking about him. im basically OBSESSED! This is such a great piece of poety. very relatable! haha
distressed_cinderella PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 17 2010 at 5:59 pm
distressed_cinderella PLATINUM, San Leandro, California
20 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; You can&#039;t make something stay that wants to go. You can only love what you have while you have it&quot;

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The glorious attraction to jerks (sigh), i get you!! Great poem
Shadow913 SILVER said...
on Jul. 17 2010 at 1:19 pm
Shadow913 SILVER, Hinckley, Illinois
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This is very good. I like the rhyme; it makes the poem seem more simple and straightforward. The last stanza could use a little work, but other than that it's absolutely wonderful. Keep writing(: