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Who Has The Duty of Loving You?
It all started with a friend,
Who introduced me to your name.
I thought this love was something real,
But to you it was just a game.
This frail attraction blossomed
Under the summer sun.
Naïve, I did not listen
When they all told me to run.
It seemed to be every other day,
You would find a flaw in me.
You’d spit acid with your tongue,
Then turn your back to leave.
Yet not a day would pass
Before you came back to me,
With sugar-coated words
Of love, and half-apologies:
“You can only be loved by me.
Now, come listen and obey,
I’ll give you another chance
But you better do what I say.”
To which I always promised,
“I’ll do better this time, I swear.
I’m so sorry for my transgression.
Stay, I beg, for your absence I cannot bear.”
And so the cycle went.
Twenty-seven times in all.
You’d cheat and fight, blame it on me,
And for your lies, I’d fall.
When autumn came, we tried again.
This time, I thought that it would work.
But soon enough you proved me wrong,
And drug me through the dirt.
I idly watched as your eyes
Followed after other girls.
And when you swung in jealous fits,
I would never utter a word.
Then one day it came too much.
I saw my mother’s tears.
“Why do you stay with him?”
She asked, her voice rejecting fear.
“He has his flaws, but so do I.
I love him strong and true.”
“But if you love him with all your heart,
Who has the duty of loving you?”
It was then I knew, you did not love
Me for anything but fun.
That day I finally had the courage
To tell you I was done.
I’d lie if I said I didn’t miss you,
But it is for the best you’re gone.
Love shouldn’t hurt like this,
And for relief I shouldn’t long.
So to you, I say goodbye,
This farewell’s, long overdue.
Now I may come to love myself
As much as I had loved you.
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The hardest part of an abusive relationship isn't the bruises or the tears, but acceptance of the truth that he never loved you like you loved him.