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Teeth
When worldly weights weigh
my paper thin shoulders down
And concerns of a million myriads rush
into my still developing brain
Instead of freeing emotions healthily—
sewing swimming singing
— my teeth take the fall.
They punch together
Row crushes row
Clenched tight as the memories flood in.
I can still feel the hair on Your arms
Your aged arms on my back left marks through my clothes--
and an “innocent hug”
trudged to the sink and scaldingly scrubbed You off
hands pink with defeat at my resilience.
Knowing You’d be there every day
burning anguish at having to respect You
despite how horribly wrong You are.
Head spins dizzy with seeping discomfort
and a flinch You only can bring me
accompanied by my squeezing
legs into one leg
so tight nothing can get through.
I am safe.
So, collide, my teeth.
Grind like tectonic plates
Puzzle pieces that don’t fit
Hands that can’t sit still.
They tell you put down the blades—
And though I’ve never picked one up—
This silent resilience of pressed teeth
feels just as self demeaning.
You are the enemy
And the wall I have built is
two rows of teeth strong.
If I don’t let words
escape through this wall
it has to be strong enough
to keep You out too.
The dentist says
I need to stop grinding my teeth.
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The "You" in this piece is out of my life and has been reprimanded for his behavior. It's a scary world out there, stay safe.