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i hate you.
you swallowed me up--
slowly, but surely,
you gained my trust
and then tore me apart
i want it back
shaky hands grip the ends of my hair
bleached, dyed, made mine,
held together with the thread
sewn into my smile
keep me up
bags and hats and things that will one day
shrivel and turn to dust--
identical,
everything that held meaning to me
let it just be mine
ones i love, things i love--
the yellows,
my possessions,
stolen, why
could nothing ever be enough
two trips around the sun
and all that i made was gone--
yours, it always had to be
for you
but you never wanted me
a piece of myself still lives in you
the one that gave you acceptance
and a shoulder to rest
it’s something i cannot get back
it isn't mine anymore
even my words
the only part left that holds
my sound, my voice,
my nothing-- not mine
it’s your everything
you needed everything.
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this is probably the most in my head i've felt in a long time. someone is taking that from me. i won't let them be me.