Filthy hands forever reaching.

Never finding Palpable Desire.

The Desire every human wishes to obtain.

But when Clean hands swat me away,

Their hands, now Filthy like mine, reach farther.

Determined to win.

Determined to claim what i do not have.

i could fight back.

i could find the courage inside of me

or

i could even fake it.

But

every time i approach with my Filthy hands,

i am Fearful.

hushed whispers slither and slice the thin air.

and my breath becomes so thick, 

i choke on the things i want to say.

my Filthy hands 

paralyzed when i see eyes

reflecting Desire, Pain and Dominance. 

But

when i see Your Filthy hands take 

what i have longed for 

i retreat.

my attempts to speak 

shoot back into my lungs like the recoil of a shotgun.

and i sew my lips 

because i fear that if i speak,

move,

reach, 

or

breathe,

You will end me. 

It's amazing how Fear robs us.

Controls us.

How it can prevent you from doing something.

Or getting what you want.

But

i Fear that what i want

is Wrong.