When I look back at things long past,

I see the things I should have done,

I see my mistakes, vast,

I see the times I should have run.

When I was eleven,

My grandfather breathed his last,

My tongue was tied,

The chance to speak to him passed.

Now I dwell on the words trapped inside,

The urge to set them free,

But it’s too late, he already died,

And took with him a piece of me.

When I was twelve,

I agreed to get in that pool,

From that moment, my life changed,

Because I was a naive fool.

His hands traveled in a whirl,

As I struggled to get away,

If I hadn’t been such a stupid girl,

I would have told him to stop that day.

When I was thirteen,

His fingers trailed up my leg under the table,

The pool wasn’t enough for him, he did things he shouldn’t,

I tried to stop him, but I wasn’t able.

I feared how far we would go,

From then on he haunted my sleep,

I sneak around hoping he won’t know,

My secret to bear, my silence to keep.

When I was fourteen,

I let the time slip by,

I let my new friend slip right through my fingers,

He would try to meet my eye.

The way he talked to me,

His dark hair,

About him, I would daydream,

I should have told him I cared.

When I was fifteen,

I lied to my parents,

I told them the nightmares were gone,

But they’ve been here all along.

Nightmares of the man who torments me,

I don’t even know why I lied,

I no longer sleep,

Until the day of tyrannicide.

When I was sixteen,

I reached a fork in the road,

Dwell on the past or live in the present,

I’m still standing at that fork in the road.