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Because of You
When I first arrived I was all bright-eyed and full of ambition
I went and became a little more social
Things looked so good and everything was going well
I took a chance even though you were a stranger
You had a way with words that I had never know
You were charming and funny, I should have seen it coming
Everything changed when I got into your car
You told me who you really were and what you really do
There was no way for me to get out
I felt like I was drowning in my own fear
I felt like there was a lump in my throat and a gun to my head
I was afraid of what would happen if I didn’t do what you said
You roofied me and threatened me
There are some things I just cannot forgive
One of them is how you assaulted me and messed with my head
Because of you, I couldn’t leave my room anymore
Because of you, I didn’t want to live anymore
Because of you, I hated every inch of myself
Because of you, I blamed myself
I knew something was wrong when my body couldn’t stop shaking
I didn’t know if it was from my fear or from the drugs
You tried so hard to have sex with me
It wasn’t consensual I didn’t want to get sexual
I had to get down on my hands and knees and beg you to take me to the hospital
Because of you I couldn’t leave my room anymore
Because of you, I didn’t want to live anymore
Because of you, I hated every inch of myself
Because of you, I blamed myself
You threatened me and told me to lie
You said you’d come after me if I didn’t lie for you
You stalked me and haunted me
I still can’t get away from you even in my dreams
Every time I see a guy like you I can’t help but panic
Because of you, I couldn’t leave my room anymore
Because of you, I didn’t want to live anymore
Because of you, I hated every inch of myself
Because of you, I blamed myself
All I ever wanted was to be free but you took that away from me
You have destroyed every inch of me
I’m trying to come back from that hell
Because of you I couldn’t leave my room anymore
Because of you, I didn’t want to live anymore
Because of you, I hated every inch of myself
Because of you, I blamed myself
I want you to know my pain
To have your sense of safety and freedom ripped away from you
I know who is at fault here and it’s not me
Stop trying to hide behind this ‘I’m a good guy image’
I’ve seen the real you and I hope everyone see’s it too
I’m trying to heal
I’m trying to be strong
But it’s so hard
I feel like I can’t go on
But if this stops this from happening to another
Then I guess I will fight on
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I wrote this after I was sexually assaulted, I am doing much better now.