Your valley eyes were the first most beautiful thing I saw when I came into the world.

Your valley eyes were the first things to tell me a lie,

a lie that carried a tone of pain, a pain that I didn’t understand until now.

I loved and hated them in equal measure,

but they stayed despite the pain.

Those diamond valley eyes, 

oh those valley eyes shone like emeralds. 

You were a storm, 

only I didn’t have a weather forecast to tell me when the rain and thunder would come. 

Each day I’d wake and hope it wasn’t today.

But when the rain and the thunder came, were the days I grew to hate those valley eyes.

Mumbled and slurred speech, 

where could I go on the days the storm arrived? 

I had no shelter. 

Each storm shattered my heart that little bit more and taught me that even love can lie.

But every storm came with a rainbow because those valley eyes, 

they shone like emeralds.

Finding empty wine glasses and giving them a sniff, knowing the smell of white wine from when I was five. 

Knowing where the white powder would be hiding and understanding coke wasn’t just a fizzy drink. 

Knowing today’s a storm,

but remembering a rainbow was coming. 

Shove Tuesdays, 

our dances, 

flicking through old photographs and your hugs. 

Plaiting my hair and you telling me how much you loved me, listening to your laughter, 

and seeing that lighthouse smile.

These were my rainbows that made the storms worth it. 

Your strength is a rainbow that I carry everyday, 

I thank you for not giving up so I can see your valley eyes shine, 

but you taught me love can lie. 

You taught me the smell of wine at five.

But I thank you for your strength for carrying on, 

and I apologise for not understanding your pain until today.