i wish to be a part of you, this city

because some naive, reviled part of me

still believes the lie, animalistic

dubbed “love at first sight”, but

i know i can’t list pheromones

on my perfumed resume

even when the object of my unreciprocated affection

is as unknowable as you

i know that it’s unseemly

longing to walk your red-bricked streets like a local

and swing through your revolving doors as if

they’d melt to meet me

i knew it was lust, unspeakable and dirty

the day i saw the homes that bobbed

like gulls on your fickle sea

seeing wasn’t enough to sate my hunger

my soul would not settle until i had been

weaned by their hearth

i am so loathe to visit you, oh city which i worship

that sticky word “tourist” leaves the acidic taste

that burns my throat and words

i doesn’t mean what we are, dear city

unless that’s all i am to you now?

a one-night stand and checkout at eleven?

tell me if it’s true, dear city, do

tell me if you remember what we never had

i tasted salt from your freezing sea

and it matched my own wandering blood

that cabbie, whose laugh i mimicked

the confident gait that masked my intentions

secured tightly my imitation

tell me you remember

what i did behind your back?

oh my strong and secret city,

will i learn to love myself if i become you?