I don’t think you remember us, you don’t remember me. I however remember everything we’ve done. You cried in a call with me, talking about medication. You said I didn’t know you and that you’re a monster. You say you harm everyone around you. I don’t think you harm anyone but me, I see past your issues to who you truly are. I see the scared kid growing up too fast. I see the way you push everyone away and how lonely you are. I see the seed that was planted in you two years ago that began to rot you from the inside out. You started skipping out on hanging out with our friends. You stopped talking to me. You ignored my cries of help. You left me when I needed you the most and when you came back, it hurt more. You’ve never been back though, an empty shell of the person I miss is. You don’t see me. If you remembered me then that would be enough. If you remembered me you’d know you’re all I need. I still listen to that playlist you made me two years ago and cry to Mr. Blue sky because that was your favorite song. I lay in bed, trembling hands holding a dim screen as I look back to when you said you missed me. You didn’t talk to me for three cold weeks after. I don’t know whether I should tell you to leave me alone for good or to just tell you how much I’ve loved you for the past four years. A constant in and out feeling of wanting to hear you say you loved me too. I know whenever we talk it’s just to talk, make sure one another isn’t dead. You don’t miss me and that’s the worst part. When that seed planted in you made you radioactive to be around I remember the day our friends left us alone at the fair. You ignored me, three feet between us and I stared at a blank phone screen, crying quietly so you wouldn’t see. When our friends came back you left to get away from me. The way you can give me false hope and miss you over a phone call or text will never compare to crying beside you. Your venom will always be planted deep in me and I can’t do anything to escape it. I need you to stay or tell me off so the constant aching in my chest will stop for once. No matter who I’m with they don’t compare because you’re the first person that made me feel anything. I haven’t laughed or smiled as much in the past two years as I did that day you walked nine miles in ankle deep snow to see me. We wrestled and laid together, the parking lot of that elementary school will never feel the same as it did that day.